Anthony de Mello's good news about human psychology is important for more people today to know about. Certain Catholics around the world have read his books and listened to audiotapes of his workshops. He explains how meditation can help us transcend our ego-consciousness and thereby change, however gradually. Because humankind will not change by changing structures external to us, we need to change ourselves.

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Duluth, Minnesota (OpEdNews) August 16, 2012: The good news about human psychology according to Anthony de Mello, S.J. (1931-1987), was that we can transcend the limitations of our ego-consciousness and thereby we will change, however gradually the change may occur. He claimed that humankind will not be changed by changing structures that are external to us, but humankind will be changed when men and women are changed. The royal road to change is meditation.

In July 1980, I listened to Tony de Mello present a preached retreat in Denver eighty-five Jesuits on retreat (and to me, a Jesuit novice at the time who was not on retreat but just sitting in and listening and taking notes). Over the years after I left the Jesuits, I took out my notes and reread them. I treasured them. Recently I decided to type up my notes so that I could share them with people who might be interested in them. The thoughts recorded in my notes below are Tony de Mello's thoughts and views. However, the terse writing style is my note-taking writing style. In short, there are no direct quotations of complete sentences spoken by de Mello.

Background Information

The Second Vatican Council (1962-1965) in the Roman Catholic Church urged religious orders in the church to revisit each order's charism and work toward renewal of the order. For Jesuits in the Society of Jesus founded by Ignatius Loyola (1491-1556), the review of the order's charism was extensive, deepening their understanding of the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius Loyola. For an account of the earlier approach in Jesuit training, see George T. Tade, "The Spiritual Exercises: A Method of Self-Persuasion," Quarterly Journal of Speech, volume 43 (1957): pages 383-389.

Anthony de Mello played an enormous role in the renewal of Ignatian spirituality not only in India but elsewhere, including the United States. His influential life has been beautifully detailed recently by his younger brother Bill deMello (born 1944) in his biography Anthony deMello: The Happy Wanderer: A Tribute to My Brother, edited by Clifford W. DeSilva (Anand, Gujarit, India: Gujarit Sahitya Prakash, 2012).

Anthony de Mello's 1975 lectures in India on the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius Loyola have recently been published in book form as Seek God Everywhere: Reflections on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, edited by Gerald O'Collins, S.J., Daniel Kendall, S.J., and Jeffrey LaBelle, S.J. (New York: Image/Doubleday, 2010).

Anthony de Mello's book Sadhana: A Way to God: Christian Exercises in Eastern Form was published in 1978 in the United States by the Institute of Jesuit Sources in St. Louis, Missouri (USA), an apostolate of the Missouri Province of the Society of Jesus.

In the summer of 1980, Anthony de Mello presented two workshops at Loretto Heights College in Denver, Colorado (USA) for Jesuits that were sponsored by Ministry Training Services, an apostolate of the Missouri Province of the Society of Jesus. Twenty-six Jesuits participated in Workshop I from June 19 to July 10,1980. Eighty-five Jesuits participated as retreatants in Workshop II from July 13 to 22, 1980. The following notes are based on Anthony de Mello's presentations in Workshop II in July 1980. (Today the former Loretto Heights College is a campus of Regis University, the Jesuit university in Denver.)

As the following notes indicate, Anthony de Mello discussed awareness in Workshop II. He discusses awareness at greater length in his posthumously published book Awareness: A de Mello Spirituality Conference in His Own Words, edited by J. Francis Stroud, S.J. (New York: Image Books/Doubleday, 1990).

I, Thomas J. Farrell (born 1944), entered the Jesuit novitiate of the Missouri Province of the Society of Jesus in Denver, Colorado, in the fall of 1979. During my first year as a Jesuit novice, I made a 30-day directed retreat following the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, which is customary for Jesuit novices to make in their first year. In the summer of 1980, I and another Jesuit novice were sent to live temporarily at Loretto Heights College in Denver and assist in the mundane details of running Anthony de Mello's two workshops there.

During Workshop II, I sat in on Anthony de Mello's presentations. I sat in the back of the room and took notes, as I would have taken notes in a course. But I was not making a retreat, as the others in the room were.

Because Walter J. Ong, S.J. (1912-2003), refers occasionally to Anthony de Mello's work, I incorporated certain points from my following notes in my book Walter Ong's Contributions to Cultural Studies: The Phenomenology of the Word and I-Thou Communication (Cresskill, New Jersey, USA: Hampton Press, 2000, pages 97, 158, 161, 176, 183, 184, 185, 186, 188).

Under Pope John-Paul II, Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger issued an official "Notification Concerning the Writings of Father Anthony deMello, SJ" on June 24, 1998. Bill deMello reprints the entire text of the "Notification" and the accompanying "Explanatory Note" in an appendix in his book (pages 309-321).

Subsequently, however, church officials toned down Cardinal Ratzinger's "Notification" by agreeing to permit the publication of Anthony de Mello's books along with the following "Caution": "The books of Father Anthony de Mello were written in a multi-religious context to help the followers of other religions, agnostics and atheists in their spiritual search, and they were not intended by the author as manuals of instruction of the Catholic faithful in Christian doctrine or dogma" (quoted in Bill deMello, page 247). In my estimate, it is an understatement to say that he did not intend his books to be manuals of instruction in Christian doctrine or dogma.

In any event, with an audience of eighty-five registered Jesuit retreatants (and me) in Workshop II in July 1980, Anthony de Mello did not undertake to provide us with instruction in Christian doctrine or dogma, which he undoubtedly assumed we were familiar with already. With this caution in mind, I would urge anyone reading the following notes to take all of the statements recorded here with a grain of salt. I plucked these statements out of the air as Anthony de Mello spoke and recorded them to the best of my ability. But anyone reading the following notes should remember that I may not have understood everything he said, so that I may have misrepresented his thought in my notes. And Anthony de Mello is no longer alive and able to explain and defend his points.

One further consideration strikes me as worth mentioning here. Bill deMello quotes one former Jesuit who had worked with Anthony de Mello as making the following observations: "Tony gave up "guiding' people on 30-day retreats and moved to "counseling' sessions -- he saw that the "fruit' of the Spiritual Exercises could not be savored in full because people were locked up in psychological problems and insecurities and were at emotional dead-ends. At that stage, they needed counseling (more than spirituality) to free them from these blocks (as evidenced by the testimony of so many) so that they could then more deeply drink of the waters of the Ignatian vision" (quoted on page 204).

From what I was told at the time about Workshop I in Denver, it was the kind of counseling session that the author of this quoted passage refers to. But Workshop II was not. In Jesuit parlance about retreats, Workshop II was a preached retreat. However, anyone reading the following notes will see how strongly oriented toward the psychological Anthony de Mello's thought was in July 1980. (In the following notes, I have omitted the instructions he occasionally gave the retreatants of fantasy exercises for them to do as homework during the retreat. I have not checked the spelling of names or the titles of books in the following notes.)

My Notes from Anthony de Mello's July 1980 Workshop in Denver, Colorado (USA)

July 14, 1980

Workshop aim: to lose the self, to die to self.

But there is nothing that we can do directly to lose the self.

Hence, asceticism for the sake of asceticism does not lead to losing the self.

Therefore, no method, no technique for losing the self.

Self-denial has been interpreted to mean going against one's needs.

But there is no self, says Tony de Mello.

Mystics realize this.

"I live now not I" = existential sense of mystic.

The "not I" part of this expression = loss of self.

The is-not-ness of the self.

Waiting is an essential part of mysticism -- "wait for the promise of my Father" -- "you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you" -- you do not do something; you receive.

Who am I?

See Nasrud-Din stories.

The mystic is the person who has awakened from the dream.

I cannot will, cannot command certain things in my life (e.g., happiness).

I must have patience, must wait for certain things.

I must be helpless for certain things to happen.

For example, belief can be willed; faith cannot be willed.

"Desireless action" = flow = contemplative in action.

Meaning -- man needs meaning to live.

But the layer of meaning called mystical is hard to come by.

Awareness is an end in itself, not a means.

Anything you become aware of changes. [TJF Aug. 2012: e.g., experiences of nature mysticism.]

Tony de Mello says that those who can sit in the lotus position claim that one cannot think in that position.

   In general, keeping one's back erect helps one to avoid distractions.

3:00 p.m. session

God is only in the present.

But we don't live in the present because we live in our heads. [TJF Aug. 2012: We also may not live in the present because of psychological baggage we carry around within us.]

July 15, 1980

Our inability to be present hampers our communication with God.

   Awareness helps bring us into the present.

   You can enjoy something only in the present.

Awareness brings change. For the better.

You are under compulsion when you cannot do something. [TJF Aug. 2012: e.g., when we cannot experience awareness in the present.]

Fantasy is a powerful tool for changing people. [TJF Aug. 2012: Making a retreat following the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius Loyola requires each person on retreat to use fantasy to actively imagine certain scenes, usually scenes based on biblical passages.]

Feelings change people. Change your feelings and you change.

Fantasy is a means of changing feelings.

Jesus Christ would not be respectable in any society, says Tony de Mello.

Most of the problems people have arise from their feeling not loved, although they may actually be loved.

July 15, 1980

Service love = being of service to others.

Intimacy love = attachment; mutual dependence; open hearted.

Love of surrender = letting go to the will of the Father.

Celibacy is aloneness, not loneliness.

July 16, 1980

Not true: "Love demands return of love."

While I might expect you to love me in return, my love does not depend on the return of love.

In short, "love" is not a bribe and not a conditional arrangement.

But love does demand that it be accepted with joy.

We are happy to receive love, provided that there are no strings attached.

It is a joy to receive that kind of love.

Receiving that kind of love is enriching.

Resentment, anger, indignation toward God needs to be expressed.

"I love you" should not be linked to "I want your love."

   Each should be "free."

Eric Berne, Games People Play:

   Rescuer = guilt

   Victim = helplessness

   Persecutor = anger, resentment

Whenever anyone does something that he does not want to do, he sets the triangle in motion.

By doing something that he does not want to do, he plays the rescuer.

But then he feels like a victim, and most likely he will find occasion to be a persecutor.

Strong leaders attract the insecure.

   Out of insecurity, we embrace the clarity of being told the answer.

July 16, 1980

Love does not complain.

For complaining engenders guilt, and guilt is not compatible with love because love is predicated on free action, whereas guilt-induced action is not free.

Feelings make life worth living.

When the feelings die, life itself dies.

Love makes demands and leaves the other person free.

A not-OK-feeling is the root of many behavioral excesses.

Whatever leads one to be a warm-hearted, compassionate person is prayer.

Conversions based on self-hatred.

Conversions based on self-acceptance.

Love gives and does not demand a return.

Love asks for what it wishes.

Is misery or malice behind undesirable behavior?

July 17, 1980

Love does not make sacrifices.

Love bears a burden and feels no burden, says Thomas a Kempis.

Renunciation for its own sake is not good, says Tony de Mello.

But renunciation as a by-product of seeking a good and out of love is good.

There are limits to each person's love.

Only undertake activities that you within the limits of your love can perform with joy.

Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person.

"The poor will never forgive you for the good you have done them," said St. Vincent de Paul.

The sacrament, says [Karl] Rahner, does not invade reality; the sacrament gives expression to what is already there.

Fantasies without feelings are not too helpful.

Many "spiritual problems" are rooted in emotional insecurity.

Distinguish between insecurity problems and spiritual problems.

July 18, 1980

The God of nature is not different from the God of super-nature, says Ignatius (according to Tony de Mello).

   All is grace.

Love does not deal in threats and punishments or rewards and promises.

As soon as the reward motive is present, love ceases.

The promise of reward engenders greed, hence ego.

The fear of punishment engenders cowardice, not love.

Only when an action is done for itself is it a loving act.

Reward and punishment can function as motives to change behavior, but they cannot change the person.

Cultures are built on hypotheses felt as facts.

When you are convinced of something, you experience what you are convinced of.

You could have wrong interpretations of the Bible and yet become very saintly.

All words about God distort God.

Scripture is a finger pointing to the moon.

The Bible and the sacraments are means.

The Bible is a clue, an indicator, not a description.

Tony de Mello says that no sentence in the Bible is literally true.

The statements may be true, but not literally true.

For God cannot communicate himself in a word.

The Penguin Krishnamurti Reader, 2 vols.

Two traditions of spirituality:

   Awareness = God is not conceptualized (apophatic).

   Loving tradition = God is conceptualized as a person, and involves relating to God.

Awareness stills the mind.

   The assumption is that when the mind is still, one is one with reality.

   Sounds of nature still [the mind]; sounds of man disturb.

Nyanaponika Thera, The Heart of Buddhist Meditation (London: Rider; New York: Weiser).

Happiness tends to get one out of oneself.

   Depression leads to self-absorption.

Children need recognition.

The worst punishment for children is silence, complete non-recognition.

Listening is a great form of recognition of another.

Persons can be created by being recognized by significant others in their lives. [TJF Aug. 2012: This sounds like a rationale for the Jesuit custom of manifestation of conscience to the Jesuit Provincial.]

July 18, 1980

God is generally the God of the unexpected.

When you least expect it, says Tony de Mello, God comes.

Conversely, when you expect it, God does not come, he says.

Benedictine method of prayer (popularized by St. Benedict):

Lectio = oral reading of Scripture using a familiar text that moves you to devotion and unction.

Meditatio = repeat and relish particular words based on your spontaneous choice, brief and pure.

Oration = outpouring of the heart in words, or silent response.

Lao-tse:

Do without acting = desireless activity.

Effect without enforcing.

Taste without consuming.

The aim of the retreat is depth.

   Silence is related to depth.

The intensity of desire determines whether or not you find God.

   But this is not self-generated desire.

   This desire is a gift.

Words are used to protect, not to communicate, says Tony de Mello.

Awareness creates silence and emptiness within.

   The noisy ego dies in awareness.

Two kinds of punishment: (1) revenge and (2) healing.

If you follow the path of truth, you walk alone.

Maturity: thinking for yourself and taking responsibility for your conclusions.

You cannot integrate anything you have not attacked, questioned, challenged.

   You cannot digest something you have not chewed.

The beauty of religion is that it makes man free.

   Religion makes man fearless -- free from fear.

Values = permanent, unchanging.

Norms = practices, changing.

The more aware we are, the freer we are.

Sorrow for sin is different from guilt.

   Sorrow is a pleasant emotion; guilt is not.

   I am sorry for my sin when I regret more the sin per se than the fact that I did it.

   In guilt, I regret that I did it. Guilt is self-hatred.

   Regret is created by love.

   Guilt is created by hatred.

Good men do evil, just as evil men do good.

   But men are good because they are the objects of God's unconditional love.

July 20, 1980

Meet fear with faith.

   Mature faith means losing your fear of freedom.

Henri Charriere, Papillon.

A. S. Neill, Summerhill.

Carl Rogers, Freedom to Learn.

Guilt: present moment immobilization for a past event.

Prayer is to make you a living loving person.

Anything that makes you a living loving person is prayer.

   Is the circle of those you love growing? (But love does not equal relationships.)

   If not, your prayer is not productive.

Object of love can be good, but is the quality of love good?

   What are you getting out of this relationship?

   Where are you going?

   Are you "damaging" the woman?

If your hunger for love is met, then your sex drive is not quite so strong.

A man must encounter the earth (livelihood), woman, and his destiny in order to become a man.

Tony de Mello says that John Courtney Murray, S.J., said this.

The danger of the [Jesuit] vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience is that the man will not become a man.

Loneliness is healed by intimacy, which is sexual but not necessarily genital.

   Loneliness can occur in celibacy and in marriage.

   Genitality is not a substitute for intimacy.

July 21, 1980

Vocal prayer, recitation of formula prayers, was the only kind of prayer in the church until the Middle Ages, and then the distinction between vocal prayer and mental prayer came in.

Vocal prayer is the antechamber of mysticism (according to Calveras, says Tony de Mello).

The Three Methods of Prayer are the crowning glory of the Spiritual Exercises, says Tony de Mello.

Jose Calveras and Ignacio Casanovas are the best commentators on the Spiritual Exercises, says Tony de Mello.

The aim, the method, and the content: that is the order of importance of the elements of the Spiritual Exercises, according to Calveras.

To experience the power of petitionary prayer is regarded as the thing to be gotten from the Spiritual Exercises.

The more you literalize the myth, the more you move away from mysticism.

Drug addiction seems to be a function of personality, not a function of the drug per se.

   Persons from happy homes where they were loved do get addicted.

Conversely, persons from unhappy homes where they did not feel loved do not get addicted.

It seems that persons who feel they can cope do not get addicted.

Love and Addiction -- the author argues that relationships of love can become addictive.

   In the beginning, a relationship can have a drug-like effect on the person.

   Losing interest in other interests because of one's love is addiction.

Love sweetens life; it does not absorb all else; rather, it enriches all else.

Our love of Jesus can be just as much a drug as an all-absorbing love relationship.

   Widening the circle of one's interests is a sign of healthy love.

If you are drugged, then you are not coping with life.

To become more loving, take more of the love that you are being given.

Wisdom is the felt awareness of the is-notness of the I.

   This wisdom, according to Buddhism, leads to compassion.

   The self is lost, and you become loving.

   This loving is a loving without an "attraction" for a given object.

Only through conflict can you come close to someone.

Feelings cause most of our problems.

   Inordinate attachments are rooted in strong feelings.

Hatred, anger, grief, fear, love, joy, happiness -- compassion is not incompatible with these.

When somebody has suffered a great loss, it is essential that he receive help to grieve.

A man who is full of life must be full of death.

Silence surfaces unfinished business.

The more you are "all there," the more you will remember.

The more you express your feelings to the person toward whom you "feel," the more you get in touch with your own feelings, and the more you get in touch with your own feelings, the more in touch you become with the feelings of others.

Empathy, congruence (my feelings are available to me and I have no fear to tell you, if appropriate), and non-possessive warmth are the three characteristics that contribute to making a successful therapist.

The way to deal with fear is to experience (feel) it.

Anger is essentially linked with warmth and enthusiasm.

Closeness is not the same as attachment.

   Closeness is only possible through conflict.

   But don't fight if you don't know how to handle it.

   To fight, you must overcome your fear of conflict.

Retreats by S. N. Goenka: 12-14 hours per day in meditation.

   Buddhist Meditation Center, Barre, Mass.

Vipassana (ss sounded as "sh"): body awareness.

July 22, 1980

Basic emotions: fear, grief, anger, love, and joy.

Other emotions (e.g., self-pity, guilt, discouragement) are induced through "talk" with self and are spurious.

Resentment is an emotion of the weak.

If you think yourself out of certain emotions, nature will take its revenge, for the emotion will remain frozen within.

The man who has his emotions available to him is able to live more fully.

The man who has his anger available to him is able to be warm.

To be human is to be able to experience all the basic emotions.

The human person is vulnerable to these clean basic emotions.

You cannot grow if you are not free.

Challenge is needed to grow.

When you become vulnerable, says Tony de Mello, you open yourself to "flowing."

If forgiveness is genuine, it is actually a recognition that there is nothing to forgive.

Otherwise, "forgiveness" is saying, "I'm one up, you're one down."

What do you do with anger?

Repress it. Never.

Feel it. Always.

Discharge it. Always (e.g., fantasy).

Express it. Sometimes (e.g., seen, heard, if appropriate).

Report it (e.g., say something). Sometimes.

Act upon it. Never. Morally wrong. Involves "prior decision."

There are two kinds of fantasy:

(1) the fantasy that leads me to act, and

(2) the fantasy that does not lead me to act.

The more you are in touch with anger, the more you are in control of it.

Love without fighting is not love.

But you have to be trained how to fight, and you have to fight fair. [TJF Aug. 2012: Concerning how to fight, see Donna Hicks' book Dignity: The Essential Role It Plays in Resolving Conflict (Yale University Press, 2011).]

A fair-minded, healthy assertiveness is necessary for life and spirituality.

Don't make trust in God a substitute for self-confidence.

Jesus Prayer:

Breathe in and say "Lord Jesus Christ."

Breathe out and say "have mercy on me."

The prayer must have the name of God.

The more rhythmical and resonant and brief, the better.

The Way of the Pilgrim (anonymous) is about a Russian peasant who wished to learn to pray continuously.

According to Tony de Mello, this work influenced Salinger's Franny and Zooey.

Reciting the name of God with faith is the poor man's medicine.

Tony de Mello says that Gandhi said this and practiced it.

Choose either awareness or loving devotion as a general approach to God.

Action, meditation, and contemplation are the three steps in the spiritual life according to the anonymous author of The Cloud of Unknowing.

Training or Forming (clay) Model:

Exhortation to Ideal (guilt) (achievement)

Mistrust

Minimize mistakes

Knock down the ego

Effort, will power

Life denying

Poverty, chastity, and obedience, means

Growth (seed) Model:

   Exhortation minimal -- grow into Ideal

   Trust [instead of Mistrust]

   Mistakes inevitable [instead of Minimize mistakes]

   Strengthen ego [instead of Knock down ego]

   Growth, grace [instead of Effort, will power]

   Life affirming [instead of Life denying]

   Poverty, chastity, and obedience, consequences [instead of means]

[TJF Aug. 2012: Concerning the Training Model in Jesuit training, see George T. Tade, "The Spiritual Exercises: A Method of Self-Persuasion," Quarterly Journal of Speech, volume 43 (1957): pages 383-389.]

Active Way of Living

Automatization

Shape and form

Self

Acquisition

Abstractions

Manipulation

Planning (learn from the past)

Make the most of life

Passive Way of Life (Receptive) (Awareness)

Freshness, richness [instead of Automatization]

Sensual [instead of Shape, form]

World [instead of Self]

Let go, let flow [instead of Control, possessiveness]

Reception [instead of Acquisition]

Perceptions [instead of Abstractions]

Helplessness [instead of Manipulation]

Present [instead of Planning (learning from the past)]

Aimless, purposelessness [instead of Purpose, aim]

Live life [instead of Make the most of life]

Control: from without or from "parent" in the head.

Discipline: from within.

Controlled person: rigid, frozen.

Disciplined person: flowing.

The glory of God is the fully alive person.

   Awareness or loving devotion in good time can yield full life.

   Fantasy can be used to free up what is frozen within.

   The awakened person senses the divine.

   Breakthrough to wisdom and compassion.

   Reverence and gratitude.

   Liberation from violent attitudes about self, life, and the Bible.

Humankind will not be changed by changing structures.

   Humankind will be changed when men and women are changed.

   God became man. Return man to the task of becoming man.

Prayer of praise -- for everything.

   God is in control of all, and so God can be praised for all.

   All is well.

   There is no evil that has no good attached to it.

   Conversely, there is no good that has no evil attached to it.

Julian of Norwich: "And all manner of things shall be well."

Authors Website: http://www.d.umn.edu/~tfarrell

Authors Bio:

Thomas James Farrell is professor emeritus of writing studies at the University of Minnesota Duluth (UMD). He started teaching at UMD in Fall 1987, and he retired from UMD at the end of May 2009. He was born in 1944. He holds three degrees from Saint Louis University (SLU): B.A. in English, 1966; M.A.(T) in English 1968; Ph.D.in higher education, 1974. On May 16, 1969, the editors of the SLU student newspaper named him Man of the Year, an honor customarily conferred on an administrator or a faculty member, not on a graduate student -- nor on a woman up to that time. He is the proud author of the book WALTER ONG'S CONTRIBUTIONS TO CULTURAL STUDIES: THE PHENOMENOLOGY OF THE WORD AND I-THOU COMMUNICATION (Cresskill, NJ: Hampton Press, 2000; 2nd ed. 2009, forthcoming). The first edition won the 2001 Marshall McLuhan Award for Outstanding Book in the Field of Media Ecology conferred by the Media Ecology Association. For further information about his education and his publications, see his UMD homepage: Click here to visit Dr. Farrell's homepage.

On September 10 and 22, 2009, he discussed Walter Ong's work on the blog radio talk show "Ethics Talk" that is hosted by Hope May in philosophy at Central Michigan University. Each hour-long show has been archived and is available for people who missed the live broadcast to listen to. Here are the website addresses for the two archived shows:

Click here to listen the Technologizing of the Word Interview

Click here to listen the Ramus, Method & The Decay of Dialogue Interview