Timely advice for the Honorable Dennis J. Kucinich on his possible Congressional candidacy in Washington state.

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Please accept my condolences for your recent defeat in Ohio's 9th Congressional District Democratic Primary.  Your exile from the federal legislature is indeed most tragic. That bubbling cauldron of vote-hustlers, cheap salesmen, and career-chasing unoriginals won't be the same without you or your oddly clean brand of politics.

I've followed your career for many years and have the utmost admiration for your long track-record of innovative policy proposals and aggressive style.  It takes guts to challenge the entire power structure of Cleveland as a 31-year-old mayor at the height of a local mob war.  Or to fire a popular, but insubordinate, police chief on live television.  Even after just narrowly surviving the city's first ever recall election less than a year into your term, and a failed assassination attempt two months later, you refused to sell out.  The deliberate sabotage of city finances by Cleveland Trust in retaliation for your refusal to privatize Municipal Light finally cost you your job, but the humble townsfolk eventually came to their senses and sent you to Congress in 1996.

Not bad for a guy born into an impoverished family of nine.  Most would've cut a shady deal early on, grinned like a Ken doll, and ridden a wave of dirty money all the way to higher office.  But you actually stuck to your principles, a dangerous gambit in electoral politics, as you did when you rallied Congress to impeach Bush and Cheney in the twilight years of their crumbling administration.

You remind me of another Cleveland populist, former Mayor Tom L. Johnson, immortalized as "the best Mayor of the best-governed city in the United States" by legendary muckraker Lincoln Steffens.  Like you, Johnson fought for public utilities and the abolition of corruption and monopoly privilege.  He also shared your strong idealistic sensibility in the economic sphere--in his case the single-tax philosophy of Henry George, in yours the huge and difficult issue of authentic monetary reform.  But for all of his accomplishments local elites were eventually able to destroy Johnson's career, and he died a physical wreck at the age of 56.  You are 65, and as far as I can tell far from broken--in fact, you seem healthier than most people half your age--but unfortunately you've been done in by the same nexus of big money and scheming party operatives that brought down your illustrious mayoral forebear.

The stink of the Republican plot to eliminate your home district and force you into a primary contest with another sitting Democrat is too close for comfort.  A relative of mine, a honcho in the Ohio GOP who shall go nameless, lamentably helped to bring that about.  Yet I can't seem to blame said person any more than I can blame a baboon for its foul mannerisms: the actions of the beast are brutish and unbecoming, but hopelessly innate to its crude, rank nature.

Besides, the Democrats had a hand in this too.  Even before the Republican landslide of 1994, the Democratic Congress passed the NAFTA deindustrialization act and as of 2007 the United States has since lost a net 3,654,000 manufacturing jobs, laying waste to organized labor, particularly in your native Midwest.  In Ohio, union representation has declined by about a third, a fairly grim trend for the traditional foundation of both your party and the American Dream.  Without an organizational counterweight to balance the power of big business, money will always dominate the political process at the expense of people-powered candidates such as yourself.

For these reasons and more I tossed you some coin during the final stages of your last epic battle.  As it turns out this gesture was insufficient, and the sting of defeat was further compounded by the sad fact that your Democratic opponent, not you, will get to go on to trounce and humiliate the Republican in the general election.  A rust-belt cage match between the populist Kucinich and the odious "Joe the Plumber" (whose name isn't Joe and who isn't a licensed plumber) would have been a great deal more exciting than one involving the liberal-ish Marcy Kaptur of Patriot Act notoriety.

Which brings us to the present.  Here in Washington state, chatter persists in suggesting that you still might relocate from Ohio to run for Congress in one of our districts.  As a born-and-raised Washingtonian, I can tell you that such a move is entirely feasible.  2012 should be a good year for Democrats as the young and liberal-minded will be out in force to a) re-elect Obama and b) legalize pot, which will be on the ballot this fall as a statewide initiative.

But you better make a move soon.  You've already missed last weekend's "Beer as Art," which would have gone a long way towards establishing you as a man of the people.  If you're worried about being called a "carpetbagger," keep in mind that a third of Washingtonians weren't born here either, so they'll probably understand that the best man for the job has to occasionally be imported.

In any case it's up to you.  Just remember that the absolute prerequisite for winning over the locals is a sense of humor.  Jazz legend Vic Meyers was our Lieutenant Governor for 20 years and would run for office dressed as Mahatma Gandhi with a rented goat alongside him.  Before that he campaigned for mayor in Prohibition-era Seattle in a beer wagon while promising to fix the budget by adding cocktail waitresses to the streetcars.

In the Great Depression Marion Zioncheck represented the 1st District in Congress and would dance in water fountains like a raving madman, at one point dumping a truckload of manure on J. Edgar Hoover's front door for no other reason than the simple fact that he deserved it.

And folksinger Ivar Haglund used to stage wrestling matches in front of his chowder hall on the Seattle waterfront between a dead octopus and "Two-Ton Tony" Galento and became so revered that when he ran for Port Commissioner as a joke, he won by accident.

This is my state, or at least a part of it.  You're welcome to take your esteemed career and move it hereabouts if you wish, but I'm glad we got to review the human terrain a little before you make a final decision.  Spring is coming and change is in the air, and your surprise addition to the psychic landscape would be a most fitting affirmation of the turning of the seasons.  Thank you for all you've accomplished thus far, and best of luck on the days ahead.

Authors Bio:
Keith Houser is a freelance writer from Washington state. He is an advocate for land value taxation and monetary reform.