The Lorax Goes Hollywood. A review in rhyme of a Seuss-misuse Crime.

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The Deplorax

The Lorax Goes Hollywood

My name is the Lorax and I speak for the trees.

So how'd I get sucked up in Hollywood sleaze?

My message was lost in the Stremulous Stream!

Even Swomee-swans told me to "Get with the Team!"

The Grinch (who stole Christmas) got all the attention

Why TV? Why Movies? Why all this Big Mention?

Because he's defeated, so Whos can start shopping!

But me? I'm ignored because I'd stop chopping.

So, how come the hokum? Why tell kids to drive

Their parents to buy a Mazda CX-5?

'Cause I am the Lorax! I push SUVs!

(And IHOP's "Mac n' Cheese & Trufula Trees!")

I once scorned the Once-ler and all his pollution.

But now I've been shown there's another solution:

Grabulous Greed from a thneed is a hoot!

And now I am rolling in Bar-ba-loot loot.

The Humming-fish now know that Rodeo Drive

Is my new habitat and it's here that I'll thrive.

My new movie's loud and it's filmed in 3-D

(Dumb, Dumb and Dumber, between you and me.)

Instead of just talking, let's shout, scream and hoot.

Let's make so much noise we could deafen a Snoot,

Snatch pratfalls and stunts from the Done-before Basket

And pluck our cliches from the Done-to-Death Casket.

I'm a celebrity now meant to prowl upper classes.

My moustache is waxed and I've put on dark glasses.

I party at Hard Rock and dress incognito

(I can scrunch down and hide behind Danny DeVito.)

So pour me some vodka with Trufula juice

And please never mention that guy, Dr. Seuss.

Excuse me! That's Spielberg on line number one.

Love ya, babe! Call me! So long! Gotta run!

Authors Bio:
Gar Smith is a Project Censored Award-winning reporter and is co-founder and editor of Environmentalists Against War and the author of Nuclear Roulette.