In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

::::::::

>
>In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth and populated
>the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and
>red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and
>healthy lives.
>
>Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream
>and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
>And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add
>some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
>
>And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure
>that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the
>wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from
>size 12 to size 18.
>
>So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented
>Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.
>And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
>
>God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil
>in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
>chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained
>more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
>
>God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food
>Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and
>named it "Devil's Food."
>
>God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose
>those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man
>would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed
>and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
>
>Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
>with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
>starchy center into chips and deep -fried them. And Man gained
>pounds.
>
>God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
>still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its
>99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And
>Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good."
>And Man went into cardiac arrest.
>
>God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created
>HMOs.
>
>
>
>Thought for the day . . . There is more money being spent on
>breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This
>means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with
>perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to
>do with them.
>
>If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be
>five fewer people laughing in the world

Submitter: Joan Brunwasser

Submitters Website: http://www.opednews.com/author/author79.html

Submitters Bio:

Joan Brunwasser is a co-founder of Citizens for Election Reform (CER) which since 2005 existed for the sole purpose of raising the public awareness of the critical need for election reform. Our goal: to restore fair, accurate, transparent, secure elections where votes are cast in private and counted in public. Because the problems with electronic (computerized) voting systems include a lack of transparency and the ability to accurately check and authenticate the vote cast, these systems can alter election results and therefore are simply antithetical to democratic principles and functioning.



Since the pivotal 2004 Presidential election, Joan has come to see the connection between a broken election system, a dysfunctional, corporate media and a total lack of campaign finance reform. This has led her to enlarge the parameters of her writing to include interviews with whistle-blowers and articulate others who give a view quite different from that presented by the mainstream media. She also turns the spotlight on activists and ordinary folks who are striving to make a difference, to clean up and improve their corner of the world. By focusing on these intrepid individuals, she gives hope and inspiration to those who might otherwise be turned off and alienated. She also interviews people in the arts in all their variations - authors, journalists, filmmakers, actors, playwrights, and artists. Why? The bottom line: without art and inspiration, we lose one of the best parts of ourselves. And we're all in this together. If Joan can keep even one of her fellow citizens going another day, she considers her job well done.


When Joan hit one million page views, OEN Managing Editor, Meryl Ann Butler interviewed her, turning interviewer briefly into interviewee. Read the interview here.

While the news is often quite depressing, Joan nevertheless strives to maintain her mantra: "Grab life now in an exuberant embrace!"


Joan has been Election Integrity Editor for OpEdNews since December, 2005. Her articles also appear at Huffington Post, RepublicMedia.TV and Scoop.co.nz.