Being a Republican in 2011 is different than in the past. The definition of GOP has changed. The requirements of being a member of the GOP have changed. The new and improved Republican has devolved and embraces extremism; promotes intolerance, limits freedom for only the worthy, and now, pursues the very destruction of certain segments of modern society. Don't believe it? Think the theory sounds like liberal propaganda? Read on. You may discover that the Republican party is not the same as it was when you checked that box on your voter registration form. The Republican party gave us the greatest man in the history of this country. If Abe was here today, he would not recognize his brethren. Indeed, he may even be forced, due to his sense of honor and integrity, to change his party affiliation. The modern GOP leadership would not protest. They would lead him to the nearest exit.

The Republican party of 2011, while fractured after the elections of 2008, has been able to reorganize, with the help of wealthy corporations and most notably Fox News, to reinvent themselves. In order to be a Republican in 2011, you must believe that Democrats are evil, socialist, Communist, godless terrorists, who are committed to the destruction of business, free markets, families and the very Constitution of the United States of America. While Republicans send the message that they want small government with most control being turned over to the states, cuts to the deficit, fiscal conservatism which usually equals less taxes and fewer regulations, they also send the message that the Democrats want big government, increased deficits, increased taxes, increased regulation and the control of every privately run industry in the country.

The rebirth of the GOP also concentrates on the revival of social or cultural issues. If you support gay rights, a woman's right to choose, rights to basic family planning, union rights, separation of church from state (notice I said from), health care for the poor or uninsured, federal funding of the EPA, the Department of Education, or any number of other cultural issues, you are not a 2011 Republican. Sad to say, but you are one of the evil people.

According to Outlandish, a frequent contributor and pundit at the Huffington Post, the GOP is circulating a new help wanted ad. It pretty much covers the agenda of the new and improved Republican party!

Position Available!

Head of the ticket for the Republican Party 2012.
No skills needed or even basic intelligence.
Must be: angry, white (token applications accepted but no chance of job selection) ­,
Vitriolic. To the point of irrational hysteria.
Have no plans for the country.
Have a small passing knowledge of the constitution but be prepared to rant about it incessantl­y,
while maintainin­g its perfection and what parts you favor and what parts you want to change.
Proud of your ignorance, It must be projected as a virtue.
Color blind. Except for brown, yellow, and black.
Be against feeding off the public trough for anybody else but you and your friends,
Must be prepared to hold your positions in the face of obvious flaws in their logic.
Must be a late night TV comedians dream.
Must appear to be as ill informed as the most ill informed in the base and pander to their prejudices ­.
No elitist, with integrity and common sense need apply.

Much of 2009 thru 2011 has been spent disagreeing with anything that has been proposed by the current Democratic President. Even if the idea proposed was originally presented by a Republican, once President Obama proposes it, it becomes the very worst decision ever made. Selective amnesia spreads faster than swine flu, and the GOP loses all memory that one or more of their own party faithful originally authored or endorsed the proposal.

A case in point is the Affordable Health Care Act. It has been said that the final legislation is almost a carbon copy of the plan that is now in effect in Massachusetts. That plan was signed into law by then GOP Governor Mitt Romney. According to Reuters, a new poll conducted by Market Decisions, shows that 84% of Massachusetts residents are satisfied with the plan, but for the last several years, Romney has been trying to separate himself from the plan. The individual mandate has been supported for decades by Republicans. In the early 1970s, GOP President Richard Nixon favored a mandate that all employers provide insurance. In the 1990s, the Koch supported Heritage Foundation, a GOP conservative think tank, endorsed the idea of an individual mandate. Romney supported it as "a personal responsibility principle" and the mandate was also supported by now GOP Senator Scott Brown. Selective amnesia...

TARP, The Troubled Asset Relief Plan, which was signed into law by GOP President G. W. Bush (really! this is not an urban myth!), was a $700 Billion dollar program designed to save banks and other financial institutions deemed too big to fail. Most Republicans blame President Obama for TARP, and consider it a plan for government control and takeover of the banks. Selective amnesia...

Weeks before leaving office, GOP President G. W. Bush authorized over $17 Billion dollars in loans to GM and Chrysler. Yet, when Democrat Obama came into office, provided additional funds, requirements for reorganization and repayment to the taxpayers that saved the American auto industry and at least one million jobs, he was accused by GOP lawmakers of taking over the helm of auto companies. Many complained of socialism in the works. Where were they when Bush was handing out billions and requiring nothing in return? Selective amnesia...

Reduce the deficit! Who can argue with fiscal conservatism? On paper, it all sounds so good, so warm, so fuzzy! And how does the GOP reduce deficits? The Republican party of 2011 reduces the deficit by first reducing corporate taxes and taxes paid by the wealthy. Of course! So simple! Reduce taxes! But wait--If a government reduces the amount of revenue (taxes are revenue) coming in, how does that reduce the deficit? That's simple, silly wascal! It doesn't. Plain and simple, it doesn't. If your bills at home add up to $3,000 per month, but you only bring home $2700 per month, you are going to have a deficit. Now, let's be as simple as we can. Cut that $2700 salary a month to $2500, and how much have you cut the deficit? If you are a Republican, your math is a little bit different. Most of us know that decreasing revenue does not decrease deficits.

Decreasing revenue increases deficits. I know, I know. There is more to it, Republicans say. You must decrease spending, too. But now, instead of decreasing your bills from $3000 a month to $2700 a month, you are going to have to decrease your bills by an extra $200 a month to just break even. Everyone, regardless of party affiliation, realizes and accepts that the deficit must be controlled. But Republicans of 2011 require that the first step be a reduction of taxes to the corporations and wealthy. This is the new first commandment.

This first commandment is being obeyed at the federal level, as well as at the state level. Almost every GOP governor elected in 2010, as their first order of business in 2011 has signed into law new tax cuts for corporations and the wealthy. Gotta keep your friends, right?

So, what do you cut or cut out? Start with unions! Collective bargaining costs nothing, but pretend that it does, just long enough to dismantle the unions of public employees. To make up for the tax cuts, ask middle class public employees to cut their pay, increase their contributions to their health care and retirement. If they refuse, which is ultimately your goal, fire them and outsource their jobs to corporations. Keep telling your constituents that public sector employees are worthless leeches, parasites that have destroyed the economy. Selective amnesia...It was not public employees that destroyed the economy. It was financial institutions and Wall Street. But don't ever admit it. Keep blaming the firefighters, the cops, and most of all, public enemy number one, the teachers. This is the new second commandment. Destroy the unions. The unions, by the way, always contribute to Democrats and the candidates offered by Democrats. You owe them nothing. It's not like they support Republicans!

After you have villified union and public sector employees, cut health care to the poor. The increased pricetag of Medicaid is compromising state budgets throughout the country. It is also having a negative impact on the federal budget.The pricetag is increasing because of illegal immigration, high unemployment, and just more people without money requiring medical care, without the means to pay for it. Medicaid is welfare and Republicans do not like welfare. If you can't get up off your ass and pay for your own doctors and medicine, you certainly cannot afford to contribute to Republican candidates, so die, if you must. Medical care is not a right, especially if it is to be paid for by the state or federal government. Welfare, unless it is corporate welfare, is socialism.

Third on the path to fiscal conservatism, is the repeal of tax credits to the poor or the elderly. Tax credits for corporations are good, tax credits for the poor or elderly are bad. In fact, they, like Medicaid, are welfare. In addition, tax the pensions of senior citizens. That will help to defray the impact of those corporate tax cuts that are so important to the Republican party of 2011.

Finally, the state and federal government is too involved in the day to day affairs of its citizens. Smaller government is the key to conservative fiscal policy. Divest the states of any responsibility that you can. Sell the prisons, sell the state run liquor stores (which create revenue), and if schools and cities cannot become fiscally sound and responsible, sell them, too. Corporations will be lining up to buy them. Additionally, allow corporations to purchase any state owned energy companies. If you have played your cards right, the corporations have already purchased the GOP governors and legislators, so why shouldn't they own all of every state's assets, too? The one exception to the rule against government involvement? Force every woman in this country to face invasive intervention when it comes to abortion. Prevent abortion by any means necessary!

What? Fiscal conservatism doesn't mention the creation of jobs? The economy in the tank? No. Just that tax cuts to corporations and the wealthy will create jobs. How? They don't know, but it is not that important in the scheme of things!

Ever notice how the letters GOP are almost the same as the letters GOD? There is a reason for that! It is because the GOP gets you as close to GOD as you can get, without actually claiming to be GOD! While some members of the GOP come close to claiming that they are the Messiah, or that they speak to GOD or GOD speaks to them, as of yet, they have not officially changed the name of the party to GOD. But they are pretty close!

Being the party of family values carries a great responsibility that Republicans take even more seriously than any other of their great responsibilities. Democrat begins with the letter 'D'. Did you know that DEVIL begins with the letter 'D'? The party of GOD will certainly never let you forget that.

Social and cultural issues are taking center stage with the Republicans of 2011. Family values, DOMA, gay rights, abortion rights, contraception and God are all at the forefront. GOP legislators, in addition to GOP Presidential hopefuls, all promote small government. Government needs to stay out of the lives of citizens, unless you are gay, want an abortion, seek family planning services or do not believe that God should be at the forefront of America's laws and values.

Almost every GOP led state in the country is seeking to limit the access to abortion, providing so many roadblocks that it will be close to impossible to actually get the procedure. While not outlawing abortion, which is a right granted to every woman in this country since the mid 1970's, the states are trying to circumvent the law so much so, that abortion effectively becomes illegal. At the federal level, HR 3 will allow the IRS to audit the medical records of every woman that has used insurance to receive an abortion. If the abortion is sought as the result of rape or incest, the implementation of HR 3 will require that patients audited provide police reports and medical records. The defunding of Planned Parenthood may cause the organization to downsize or even close its doors. Not only will abortions be discontinued, cancer screenings and family planning services which include contraception will cease. Millions of mammograms will no longer be provided. All of this in the name of family values.

The repeal of DADT is being fought by the new and improved Republican party. The GOP also stands behind DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act, thus ending the possibility of equal marriage rights for gay Americans. Push back any gay rights that have been achieved. The new GOP would like to end the ability of gays to adopt children. Not only are they against sex education in schools, they are against any education about homosexuality or other alternate lifestyles. All of this in the name of family values.

God is so important to the Republican party that separation of God from state is abhorrent. The GOP wants a theocracy in this country and they are not ashamed of fighting for it. While they unanimously condemn Muslim states in the Middle Eastern countries, they desire the United States to become the United God States or even the United States of God. The Muslims just pray to the wrong God, according to the Republican party. The born again, evangelical Christian God is the correct God. If you are Jewish, they will tolerate you, only so far as the part that Jews play in their ever important end days. If you are Catholic, who knows? Even though they are denying it today, Michele Bachmann's church has long believed that the Pope is the anti-Christ. Episcopalian? I don't think that Episcopalians qualify either, because they allow the ordination of gay clergy. If you are Muslim, you are a threat, and if you are an atheist or agnostic, you, too, are an outcast.

Republicans are so frightened of Muslims taking over America, that GOP legislators, in states across the country, are introducing legislation that prohibits Sharia law. The GOP would like to make sure that Muslims are not welcome at the lunch counters at Woolworth's. Wait! Make that the coffee bar at Starbucks! For a moment I became the victim of time travel. Backwards time travel!

So far, the Republicans of 2011 have not stood for jobs, jobs, jobs, which as I remember, was the rallying cry of the 2010 midterms. Selective amnesia...

The 2011 GOP stands for the abolition of the EPA and the Department of Education. They stand for the firing of up to 700,000 federal employees. They believe in the privatization of Social Security. Republicans believe that Medicare should be abolished, because it is a socialist program. No. They don't promote death panels. Just death.

Government regulation of private businesses? No. They are against any regulation. Regulations are job killers.

Oh! Perhaps more than anything else, they are against Democrats! Lest anyone forget, Democrats are evil, socialist, Communist, godless terrorists, who are committed to the destruction of business, free markets, families and the very Constitution of the United States of America. The only good Democrat is one that lives in another country.