Proving that two heads are not always better than one, and can sometimes be worse.

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Flash!!!

Gun control legislation proposed by Rep. Louis Gohmert (R-TX) was passed this morning as legislation proposed by Rep. Peter King (R-NY) was passed immediately following. These two new laws will allow and encourage Congressional representatives to carry firearms, even onto the floor of Congress while requiring anyone carrying a gun to stay at least one thousand feet away from any elected federal official.

It is expected that with both laws in effect, the floor of the House of Representatives will require expansion to an area of more than 7,700 acres to allow all 435 representatives to maintain the necessary private zone to have their strapped colleagues at the requisite distance.

Republican leadership does not see this as an insurmountable problem, and they are currently preparing the necessary "eminent domain" paperwork to incorporate the Mall, the Smithsonian, the White House, and altogether about one eighth of the District of Columbia into the House floor. As it happens, K Street will not have to be incorporated into this area, as it is already an integral part of House operations.

When asked about the disposition of Washington's many fine dining establishments and watering holes, Speaker John Boehner said they should stay right where they are, as he would welcome their presence on the House floor. He also mentioned that he was looking into a land swap between Washington, D.C. and some of the better country clubs located in nearby Virginia. "That'd sure beat a tipped over water glass on the office carpet to simulate a putting green," the Speaker said, adding, "It would also streamline things to have a member of my staff take on the duties of my caddy."

Authors Bio:
I am a lifelong resident of the Chicago suburbs, with a several year hiatus to serve in the Navy when my Vietnam era draft notice turned up. I had been told that guys with last names like mine were among the preferred cannon fodder in the Army, so the additional time required for service in the Navy seemed well worthwhile.

After military service, I worked variously in petroleum refining, for myself as an architectural illustrator just in time for electronic media to displace the ink and watercolor images that were my specialty, and doing electronic technical drawing.

To more important issues, I married lucky, which is to say once and forever, and after thirty years still marvel that she keeps me around. We have two children, a daughter with a daughter of her own, and a son who is just coming into his majority.

My wife did tire of my shouting at the television set and suggested that if I feel so strongly about politics, I should be involved. That is when I started a prolific run of commentary on this site interspersed with a few articles, and joined my local Democratic Party organization. To my wife's chagrin, I still shout at the television set.

I believe that the liberal values I hold are the result of a proper upbringing, and those values are simply what my mother, like most mothers, taught to their children. Among those values was a love of country and an admonishment to stand up for those who couldn't stand up for themselves. I still hold the part of my military oath to "defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic", to be sacred.

I keep the Jr. in my name to spare my father, whom I am fortunate enough to still have in this world, from being misidentified as responsible for my rants.