The Good Men Project, comprised of a book, documentary, and website, begins to heal a gaping wound in the fabric of society, creating “a platform where men can tell their stories: stories men can relate to, and examples of what they can follow,” according to Good Men Project cofounder, Tom Matlack.

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Are good men really so hard to find?

The Good Men Project, comprised of a book, documentary, and website, begins to heal a gaping wound in the fabric of society.

The concept was to create “a platform where men can tell their stories: stories men can relate to, and examples of what they can follow,” according to Good Men Project cofounder, Tom Matlack. He notes that, “we don't have the answer,” but that his project is intended to promote the discussion.

“This all started with the idea that men of our generation have stories to tell,” notes cofounder James Houghton. “And what is striking about the stories in the book—from the one about the former drug lord–turned–prison-reformer, to the soldier home from Iraq and facing the death of his young daughter, to the guy who has to face the reality of his son's autism—is not just the breadth of experience and shared humanity that is expressed, but also the desire for so many men to talk, given our cultural bias to put on the good face and hold it all together.”

Most men today learned their lessons from fathers who also struggled with what a man's role entails. And like their fathers, many are well-intentioned fellows who are a little unsure about their roles and are mining the complexities of life for a bigger chunk of happiness.

The book, The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood, was launched concurrently on Nov 15 with the DVD of the same title, directed and produced by Pulitzer Prize–nominated filmmaker Matt Gannon.

The book is an anthology of thirty-one first person essays in the earnest voices of all kinds of “good men and true”: rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight, rural and urban, including a stay-at-home father, an NFL Hall of Famer, and a Pulitzer Prize–nominated journalist.

When Matlack and Houghton went looking for a few good men to contribute to the book, to their surprise, they uncovered a gold mine. An abundance of men offered stories about the challenges, obstacles, triumphs, failures, and defining moments they've encountered. Collectively, these experiences help to define what it means to be a man in America today.

In addition, the book includes the winning essay from The Good Men Project's national writing contest: Perry Glasser's “Iowa Black Dirt.” It's the story of a man unexpectedly gaining full custody of his eight-year-old daughter. After an awkward start, he begins to more comfortably embrace his role as a full-time single parent.

As a woman often baffled by the mystifying world of men's behavior, I found the book enlightening.

The DVD started out as a collection of ten shorts featuring men reaching for an understanding of their unique roles. It quickly evolved into a 60-minute documentary of interviews with men who are trying to answer the question, “what is a good man?” It's directed and produced by Matt Gannon. (In the Crease, Girl with a Pearl Earring, Quills.)

The movie gets off to a testosterone-infused start, with a caution: WARNING—The following contains some graphic images of war.

Without spoiling the film, I can divulge that it is just the first segment, Shooting the Truth, by war photographer Michael Kamber, which includes the cautionary imagery. I appreciated the warning and closed my eyes for portions of the segment.

But those images can be a valuable resource in the right situation, as Matlack explains:

“After (my 13-year-old son) Seamus read Michael Kamber's essay about his Iraq experience, the discussion we had about Seamus's dream to join the military went way beyond the Jason Bourne stuff we had talked about before. For the first time, we talked about what serving the country, and war, really means: the good, the bad, death, bodies torn apart. Michael's story and our conversation dealt a decisive blow to the big-screen fantasies of war Seamus has grown up with—which are all he had in the absence of our talk. The book as a whole has given Seamus a new, honest, real way to think of his own approaching manhood.”

Gannon says, “From the time Tom sent me the first of the essays, I was riveted by the subject matter and the potential to help redefine the place of men in modern America. Each man in the film has a unique background and a unique story to tell, yet I also find their stories reflect many of the same challenges most men face today but may be afraid to talk openly about. The courage and candor of the men who appear in the film is astounding.”

The other segments were populated by men who have been in prison, men who chose neither fight nor flight, men who speak their hearts, who struggle to get up the courage to tell a father, “I love you” for the first time, and one who escaped from Russia armed with a grenade for protection, eager to build a new life in America for himself and his wife.

One fellow ruminated on the complexities of how to balance it all: “We learned from our mothers " to be a more present and nurturing partner,” and how coupling that with being successful in business, a good dad, and a good citizen, are “all wonderful things (but) I was secretly wondering if I was the only one struggling to balance it all.”

It takes quite a bit of juggling to keep all the balls in the air, no pun intended. (OK, I cannot tell a lie, I intended that pun.) And a little advice and fellowship from other men trying to do the same thing offers a sense of camaraderie on the path to discerning the good man within.

One guy discovered that amidst feelings of failure, the freeing effect of being told by another man, “you are a good man,” opened up more of the possibilities of success.

The project offers a platform for many men to tell their stories, listen to others' stories, reflect on their own lives, and then come to their own conclusions.

When it was time to shop the book around, 50 publishers turned the book down, most with the same refrain, “we love what you're doing, but guys won't read an anthology.” Jack Canfield notes that his “Chicken Soup for the Soul” got 128 rejections. Alex Haley (Roots) and Margaret Mitchell (Gone with the Wind) were also rejected multiple times by publishers.

So an initial dismissal by publishers just might be a sign of runaway success.

Matlack, Houghton, and Bean self-published the book. It is available on Amazon and on their website.

When asked, “have any of these stories changed you?” Tom answers, “I think they have all changed me!”

Before society and individuals can answer the question, what makes a good man, that question needed to be asked. And The Good Men Project does a stunning job of that.

This project is a roadmap. These guys may not know exactly where they are going yet, but they are asking directions and sharing their journeys.

The good men are getting easier to find.

RESOURCES:

Website: www.goodmenbook.org/

The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood is available through http://www.goodmenbook.org and Amazon.com. All proceeds from sales of the book go directly to The Good Men Foundation, a not-for-profit 501(3)(c) corporation that helps fund organizations that provide educational, social, financial, and legal support to organizations that help men and boys at risk.

The Good Men Facebook fan page, at http://bit.ly/GoodMenFB, has a rapidly growing base of more than 1,500 fans.

The Good Men YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/GoodMenProject, features short videos about men's changing sense of what manhood means.

Good Men guest blogger Tom Matlack at the Huffington Post Web site: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-matlack.

The Good Men Flickr stream, at http://bit.ly/GoodMenProjectFlickr offers an assortment of photos and videos about the project.

Tom Matlack's twitter stream, @tmatlack, provides up-to-the-minute news and discussion topics related to the project. He has more than 6,500 followers.

Canfield quote: http://www.shareguide.com/Canfield.html

Authors Website: http://www.OceanViewArts.com

Authors Bio:

Meryl Ann Butler is an artist, author, educator and OpedNews Managing Editor who has been actively engaged in utilizing the arts as stepping-stones toward joy-filled wellbeing since she was a hippie. She began writing for OpEdNews in Feb, 2004. She became a Senior Editor in August 2012 and Managing Editor in January, 2013. In June, 2015, the combined views on her articles, diaries and quick link contributions topped one million. She was particularly happy that her article about Bree Newsome removing the Confederate flag was the one that put her past the million mark.

Her art in a wide variety of media can be seen on her YouTube video, "Visionary Artist Meryl Ann Butler on Creativity and Joy" at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcGs2r_66QE

A NYC native, her response to 9-11 was to pen an invitation to healing through creativity, entitled, "90-Minute Quilts: 15+ Projects You Can Stitch in an Afternoon" (Krause 2006), which is a bestseller in the craft field. The sequel, MORE 90-Minute Quilts: 20+ Quick and Easy Projects With Triangles and Squares was released in April, 2011. Her popular video, How to Stitch a Quilt in 90 Minutes with Meryl Ann Butler can be seen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrShGOQaJQ8

She has been active in a number of international, arts-related projects as a citizen diplomat, and was arts advisor to Baltimore's CIUSSR (Center for Improving US-Soviet Relations), 1987-89. She made two trips to the former USSR in 1987 and 1988 to speak to artists, craftpeople and fashion designers on the topic of utilizing the arts as a tool for global wellbeing. She created the historical "First US-Soviet Children's Peace Quilt Exchange Project" in 1987-88, which was the first time a reciprocal quilt was given to the US from the former USSR.

Her artwork is in collections across the globe.

Meryl Ann is a founding member of The Labyrinth Society and has been building labyrinths since 1992. She publishes an annual article about the topic on OpEdNews on World Labyrinth Day, the first Saturday in May.

OpEdNews Senior Editor Joan Brunwasser interviewed Meryl Ann in "Beyond Surviving: How to Thrive in Challenging Times" at https://www.opednews.com/articles/Beyond-Surviving--How-to-by-Joan-Brunwasser-Anxiety_Appreciation_Coronavirus_Creativity-200318-988.html

Find out more about Meryl Ann's artistic life in "OEN Managing Ed, Meryl Ann Butler, Featured on the Other Side of the Byline" at https://www.opednews.com/Quicklink/OEN-Managing-Ed-Meryl-Ann-in-Life_Arts-Artistic_Artists_Quilt-170917-615.html

On Feb 11, 2017, Senior Editor Joan Brunwasser interviewed Meryl Ann in Pink Power: Sister March, Norfolk, VA at http://www.opednews.com/articles/Pink-Power-Sister-March--by-Joan-Brunwasser-Pussy-Hats-170212-681.html

"Creativity and Healing: The Work of Meryl Ann Butler" by Burl Hall is at
http://www.opednews.com/articles/Creativity-and-Healing--T-by-Burl-Hall-130414-18.html

Burl and Merry Hall interviewed Meryl Ann on their BlogTalk radio show, "Envision This," at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/envision-this/2013/04/11/meryl-ann-butler-art-as-a-medicine-for-the-soul

Archived articles www.opednews.com/author/author1820.html
Older archived articles, from before May 2005 are here.