Broadcast 4/28/2021 at 8:07 AM EDT (5 Listens, 2 Downloads, 641 Itunes)
The Rob Kall Bottom Up Radio Show Podcast
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Cindy Watson, Attorney social justice attorney for 30 years. , founder of Women on Purpose and author of the book, Art of Feminine Negotiation
She's on a mission to reframe 'negotiation': how we think of it and how we do it - moving away from the traditional competitive model to recognize the power of persuasion through 'feminine' traits to help leverage our innate power. She says negotiation is one of the most important skills we'll ever learn as all of life is a negotiation.
We talk about bottom-up feminine negotation and bottom-up navigation of the health care system, which is WAAAAY too top down.
Art of Feminine Bottom-up Negotiation:
Now is the time for a new global way of being.
The old traditional competitive model of negotiating life is not working. It serves the few at the expense of the many. The world is in chaos as a result.
We've bought into the myth that promotes success based almost exclusively on a top down 'masculine' model. One where we pit the proletariat against each other, all vying for a shot at the golden ticket, and serving the interests of the 1% in the process. This plays out at the macro and micro level. Feminine traits have been seen as a liability.
It's recent history that women secured the right to vote, hold property and even be recognized as persons in the eyes of the law. And so both men and women, not surprisingly, eschew their feminine " and the world tips further out of balance.
Six traits of effective negotiators: assertive (not aggressive) empathic, intuitive, rapport building, flexibility and trust. These are the ways people act with partners, rather than opponents, as Riane Eisler has discussed.
Studies show that people who invoke these traits and come from a place of cooperation and a bottom up approach get better results, relationships, and buy-in; longer-lasting agreements; more creative solutions; and more positive impact.
Imagine a world where everyone negotiated life from this place of powerful persuasion, seeking to build stronger relationships and foundational community, not coming from a hierarchical place of competition, not looking to just meet our needs, but also to understand and meet the needs of others, valuing and respecting our differences and stepping into the best of our humanity. Imagine the ripple effect of that kind of transformation.
She also says it's important to include consideration of the Five W's: who what where when why.
And then consider, especially for personal negotiation with yourself, the no-Fear mnemonic: No fear, ego, attachment or reactivity.
II Negotiating Your Healthcare: the bottom-up approach
Our health care system is broken. Nowhere is that more evident than in the mental health care system.
I developed the Art of Feminine Negotiation a few years ago. Part of the concept came from my negotiation for my daughter's life after complicated open heart surgery as an infant. Little did I know I'd be using it again to negotiate for my son's health care when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Our health care system is a top down patriarchal structure, a profit-driven 'business', from pharmaceutical overreach to the provision of health care services.
Naomi Klein espouses the Shock Doctrine theory and I can't help but wonder if COVID if a new example of that. The pandemic is being used as a purported rationale for everything from denial of services, to refused visitation (which creates a lack of accountability from our health care providers and allows for abuses with little oversight) to denying key programming (even though there's no social distancing with patients).
This exacerbates the already existing top down problems in our outdated model, including patients being held involuntarily contrary to their legal rights on the one hand, and patients needing hospitalization being denied it (with sometimes catastrophic results) at the other end.
I mention radical feminist psychiatrist Bonnie Burstow and the idea that medication is the last and worst solutionthat family and community support is best.
Now is the time for a new way - where the 'masses' learn to negotiate and advocate for the healthcare they deserve " in these unusual times and beyond.
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