President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church outside
Washington as part of his campaign to restore his pathetic and dropping poll
standings.
Bush's image manager made a visit to the Bishop, and said to him "We've been
getting a lot of bad publicity because of the president's position on stem
cell research, the Iraq war, hurricane Katrina, and the like. We'd gladly
make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd
say "the President is a saint."
The Bishop thought it over for a few moments and finally said, "The Church
is in really desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."
"I'd like to speak to you all this morning about our President. George Bush
is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He took the tragedy of
September 11 and used it to frighten and manipulate the American people. He
lied about weapons of mass destruction and invaded Iraq for oil and money,
causing the deaths of tens of thousands and making the United States the
most hated country on earth.
He appointed cronies to positions of power and influence, leading to
widespread death and destruction during Hurricane Katrina. He awarded
contracts and tax cuts to his rich friends so that we now have more poverty
in this country, and a greater gap between rich and poor, than we've had
since the Depression. He instituted illegal wiretaps when getting a warrant
from a secret court would have been a mere administrative detail, had his
henchmen lie to Congress about it, then claimed he is above the law.
He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political party since Teapot
Dome. The national surplus has turned into a staggering national debt of 7.6
Trillion, gas prices are up 85%, the people of America cannot afford
it...and vital research into global warming and stem cells is stopped cold
because he's afraid to lose votes from some religious kooks.
He is the worst example of a true Christian I've ever known. But compared to
Dick Cheney, Karl Rove and Tom DeLay, George Bush is a saint.
