9) Pardoning Scooter so he can go back to work at the Bush Administration would be punishment enough.
8) Scooter’s boss, Dick Cheney, is getting kind of lonely at his own secure location without his old bunkmate.
7) A short white guy named “Scooter” doesn’t stand a chance in a federal pen.
5) “If Scooter starts crooning like a canary before going to Sing Sing, I’m afraid the whole White House band may be playing Hail to the Chief from behind bars.” – Karl Rove
4) “I agree that Scooter should get off Scot free, but why hasn’t anyone recommended a straight-jacket for Donald Rumsfeld?” – Sigmund Freud
2) “Scooter is being treated like an enemy combatant. He has no rights. This is torturing his family. And it’s a clear violation of the Geneva Conventions.” -- Alberto Gonzales
1) Locking up a small fry like Scooter makes about as much sense as locking up Tony Soprano’s accountant while the big enchilada goes about his business like nothing happened.