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SNL Skit Morphs Into Real Life Tragedy

By Sandy Sand  Posted by Sandy Sand (about the submitter)       (Page 1 of 2 pages)   No comments
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As the list of recalled tainted and dangerous products grows, the latest being two different chicken jerky treats for dogs, imported from China and recalled by Wal-Mart, the writers of Saturday Night Live must be scratching their heads in wonder at how unwittingly prescient they were.

They probably never dreamt that their nightmare toy manufacturer, Irwin Mainway, played by Dan Aykroyd, would spring to life in the form of companies like Mattel, Wal-Mart and so many more.

Played to the hilt by Akyroyd, Mainway, with a straight face and utmost sincerity, touted his dangerous toys insisting that no child could live without them.

The killer toys, born of maniacal comedy writers' imaginations included such things as Bag O' Glass, Pretty Peggy's Ear Piercing Kit, Chainsaw Teddybear and Bag O' Vipers.

The sketches also included Mainway Hallowe'en costumes, such as a military uniform replete with a working rifle; the Invisible Pedestrian costume, ideal for trick or treating that was all non-reflective black; and, a Johnny Space Commander Mask, which was an air-tight plastic bag that attached to the head with a rubber band.

Funny in SNL sketches if not a little macabre. Where Mainway was up front and honest about his manically dangerous products, the things that are being imported from China are stealth toys.

Who would think anyone would fill dolls eyes with kerosene; or that any manufacturer anywhere would still be using lead paint; or insert tiny magnets in toys that fall off and are easily swallowed.

So in the interest of public safety, and taking a page from SNL's comedy book by committing an act of grand theft comedy, here are 13 manufacturer's tips to help you tell if your child has been exposed to or played with any tainted toys.

1-If your child seems to be constantly sticking to the fridge, he could
have swallowed tiny magnets.

2-If your child plays with the toy and an hour later wants to play with it again.

3-If Superman can't see though your child's toy, there's a good chance it contains too much lead.

4-If she draws on the walls without using a pencil.

5-If little Johnny walks by the couch and coins fly out of the cushions and stick to him.

6-If mom hugs him and hairpins shoot out of her coiffure.

7-If Billy sits too close to you while you're driving and the ignition switches to the off position.

8-If she makes darts fly off the dart board.

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Sandy Sand began her writing career while raising three children and doing public relations work for Women's American ORT (Organization for Rehabilitation through Training). That led to a job as a reporter for the San Fernando Valley Chronicle, a (more...)
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