Article: Bush plays the press to perfection

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My dear George W. Bush: Dubya, Karl Rove and you have played the mainstream media (MSM) to perfection. George W., I told you not to worry about how they would treat you. Didn't I promise you that charming the MSM (really, Mammon's Syndicated Message) would be about as hard as seducing a crack-addicted street prostitute? Let's face it, Mr. George W. Bush. You royally stunk in the press conference the day after the election. For sure, you read your lines so-so but when it came time for one-on-one with the reporters, you hemmed and hawed, stuttered and sputtered, and uhed and duhed until I thought you were going to fall apart on the spot. Hell, Dubya, some of them liberal Yankee reporters were asking right feisty and uppity questions. But I told you not to worry, that the MSM would spin the Texas two-step in your honor. And, man alive, have they ever obliged up and beyond the call of duty. Take for example, my dear George W. Bush, about being caught lying when you strongly told reporters last week that you wanted Donald Rumsfeld to be with you until the end of your term. All the time, of course, you knew Rumsfeld was about to go. You were even scouting for a replacement. But you told the reporter who asked you about the inconsistency that you "didn't want to inject a major decision about this war in the final days of a campaign." George W., you also said that you answered that way so the reporter would move onto another question. What genius it was, George W., to wait until the day after the election to can Rumsfeld. That allowed you to look decisive. Of course, your gang knew a month ago that the Democrats were going to take control of Congress. When they did, you could offer Rumsfeld as the scapegoat. Throw in Ken Mehlman of the Republican National Committee. With all the suspicions about Mehlman's sexual orientation, he had become a liability anyway. What also impresses me is how quickly you took charge of what the election signified. Whereas most people would see the election results as a direct slap upside your thick head, you managed to appear humbled in the press conference without ever directly taking responsibility or acknowledging mistakes. Hell, when you said that you understood the voters frustration because the war hadn't progressed fast enough, I wanted to scream your praises for diabolic manipulation of public perception. Of course the public is outraged because of your bullshit reasons for going to war and your persistent refusal to listen to anyone. But you reframed the issue as one of the public merely being frustrated because the war isn't being won fast enough. Then you showed that you would listen by canning the man responsible for the war not progressing fast enough. And with the help of MSM, you made it appear so spontaneous, unplanned and unrehearsed. Bravo, maestro, bravo. Play humble. Have the press repeat your talking points that you are the one who came to Washington to stop caustic partisanship. Alas, you have not been able to succeed because of the Democrats. But being the good Christian man you are, you will give the Democrats one more chance to get with the program, now that they are in control of Congress. Don't worry. The press will have your back. They will make Democrats appear partisan and viscous in wanting to hold you accountable. All the time the MSM will ignore how Tom Delay's Congress tried ruthlessly to eliminate all Democratic and liberal opposition. The MSM won't hold you accountable. They will hold the Democrats culpable for trying to hold you accountable. Now that you have got the MSM spinning the illusion that you have come clean and are cleaning house, you can keep on getting away with the same old deceptions. Speaking of which, allow me to congratulate you on the choice of Bob Gates to replace Donald Rumsfeld. Bob Gates should help keep your ass covered as well as he did your daddy's during the Iran-contra scandal. Even some Democrats are supporting Gates. Any that don't, just paint them as partisan and negative. As to you, just put on a happy face, and if and when the Democrats call you out, act like you're Davy Crockett defending the Alamo. Remember, even when the times look bleak, you have always got big business, mainstream media and the ever faithful religious right who are going to vote for you. Don't worry ever about how badly you're screwing up. My forces will always have your back. Finally, if I were you, I'd wait a while before Dick Cheney have another bout of heart trouble. Right now, it might look too suspicious. Better to hold that as a trump card to a time when Democrats are starting to snap at your heels. Then you can get sympathy out of Cheney having a cardiac event and the Democrats will get blamed. Trust me. As always, your friend and servant, Lucifer "Bubba" Mephistopheles de Mammon Richard can be heard frequently live on the Bob Kincaid Radio Show (7-10 pm EST) on Head-on Radio Tags: George W. Bush , Donald Rumsfeld, 2006 Elections, Karl Rove