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Craig's Toilet Capers

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Republicans are always carping about family and other values. Heck, the way these guys tell it the Good Old Party (GOP) is the party closest to moral, Christian and family values. Sexual hanky-Panky behavior, gay and lesbian activities, and any other kind of copulation not sanctioned by the Holy Bible are to be rejected, spurned and condemned. But these guys routinely get caught in their own pontificating and hypocritical mess, wallowing in sin and liking it.


The latest in a series of embarrassing actions for the GOP came when it was revealed that Idaho Senator Larry Craig was reportedly involved in a tawdry, shameless airport toilet shenanigan on June 11, 2007 that his arrest report said suggested that he was soliciting sexual favors in a homosexual manner. The subject of Craig’s alleged sexual desire in the men’s toilet was a cop who promptly showed the good senator his badge.


Craig pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in a public bathroom, paid a $500 fine and was put on probation for a year. But now that the press got wind of it and revealed the foot-rubbing, finger gestures allegedly initiated by the senator with his pants down to his ankles on the cop next to his cubicle, the senator says that he only pleaded guilty to “make it go away.” In true Clintonian style he never defined what “it” is.


Incredulously, at a recent press conference at which he took no questions, Craig blamed everyone but himself for his predicament and only admitted to having “overreacted and made a poor decision” and regretted his decision to “plead guilty.”  “I’ve not been involved in any inappropriate behavior and I chose to plead guilty to make it go away. I am not gay,” Craig said. He then went on to blame the Idaho Statesman newspaper that he claimed had “viciously attacked me and my family for the past 8 months” for his lapse in judgment.


“The Statesman placed stress on me and my family and so I overreacted to the arrest. I take full responsibility for a lapse in judgment in attempting to handle this matter by myself,” Craig said.


Now if ever there was an arrogant and self-serving Republican then Larry Craig fits the bill. Here is a man who blasted former US President Bill Clinton for his transgressions with the buxom Monica Lewinsky now pleading with the American people to think of him as human and therefore prone to making mistakes. It was Craig who said during the Lewinsky affair that “Bill Clinton is a bad boy, a naughty boy, even a nasty bad boy.”


So what do we call Larry Craig? First and without reservation an unadulterated hypocrite. Second, on the face of things an extremely stupid man whose judgment is highly suspect. On both counts he should be unceremoniously kicked out of the United States Senate for embarrassing that body and for engaging in conduct that has clearly brought that office into disrepute.


Craig now says that he’s retained an attorney to handle the case for him in an activity that has to include the withdrawal of a guilty plea. Now, I don’t know about you but that is going to be a very tall order in deed since Craig voluntarily waived his rights when he signed the guilty plea in the first place. He can’t use the “Idaho Statesman made me do it” defense since the presiding judge would have explained in great detail what his guilty plea entailed.


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MICHAEL DERK ROBERTS Small Business Consultant, Editor, and Social Media & Communications Expert, New York Over the past 20 years I've been a top SMALL BUSINESS CONSULTANT and POLITICAL CAMPAIGN STRATEGIST in Brooklyn, New York, running (more...)

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