Well, you know it’s true
That we spied on students, satirists, and mommies,
Eco-freaks, anarchists, and commies—
OK, anyone wanting to protest for any cause
Even with no plan to break any laws.
Sure, New York’s finest were deployed
All over the globe, but don’t call us paranoid—
“To protect and to serve” is our motto
(Taxpayers, thanks for the bratwurst and gelato!).
We can’t release documents intended just for us,
Especially since the media is sure to make a fuss,
And please don’t get the courts involved;
We need power to stop the next terrorist or kamikaze.
Signed, the NYPD (your local Stasi).