Article: Britain Releases UFO Files

The day that UFO proponents have been waiting for has finally arrived. Britain has finally released all of its UFO records for the years 1978 through 2002. The results are shocking.

It turns out that aliens and alien spacecraft are far more common than imagined, in people’s imagination, that is.

Rather than having a vast underground organization for dealing with UFOs as in, for example, the movie Men in Black, the British government has employed a single civil servant, who spent 25% effort at cataloging reports.

Virtually all of the reports are laughable, such as the meals on wheels driver who reported seeing a “Vulcan-shaped” object in the sky.

UFO aficionados insist that the problem is with the government, that they didn’t take the reports seriously, and did not properly investigate them. That brings up the obvious question of how exactly you would investigate a flashing light in the sky after it had been reported. No matter. Governments could release their UFO reports till they were blue in the face, and UFO fans would still insist that they were covering up the real reports. This is because UFO fans have already concluded that aliens are among us, primarily based on science fiction movies and TV shows.

So which is it? Is the government hiding all of their meticulous reports on aliens and UFOS, or did they not take any of it seriously, and didn’t bother to investigate the reported sightings?

One thing is certain, nothing that governments say will change UFO fan’s minds. They are in full conspiracy-mode, thinking that there is some vast plot to keep the truth from the people of the world. The boring truth is, aliens don’t give a hoot about the Earth, and that’s probably a good thing, what with death rays and all.

PS, In a weird twist, a UFO has just landed on Mars, and the Martians are going nuts!