Editor's note:
This is the the Bushcentric view of Bolton, not satire, though most OpEdNews readers will find it a mix of hilarious and infuriating. Have fun commenting. The author expects you to "be enraged."
John Bolton: The Man America Needs At the UN
By John E. Carey
John Bolton is exactly the face of the United States we, as a nation, want and deserve at the United Nations during these difficult times.
In the midst of the "global war on terror" which includes the hot spots of Iraq, Afghanistan, and Lebanon, along with the most difficult diplomatic projects of Iran and North Korea, the United States requires a diplomat with vision who is at the top of his game at the U.N.
Bolton is tough, sincere, hard working, principled, and dedicated. He follows the orders of his president and Secretary of State Rice, with whom he shares his firm belief that the U.N. needs to be cleared of corruption and reformed before it can function effectively and with the respect of the world community.
While much of the diplomatic work at the UN remains shrouded in secrecy, we are already seeing and hearing of John Bolton's positive influence.
Bolton is the man we need at the U.N. now.
After North Korea staged its 4th of July missile extravaganza, Bolton remained cool and orchestrated the U.S. reply. Working with China, Russia, South Korea, and Japan; Bolton crafted the best possible outcome by bridging the gap between the Japanese who favored sanctions and the Chinese who would have, left to their own first impressions, remained silent completely.
Michael Green, who until recently served as the senior Asia expert on the National Security Council, said he believes Bolton's hard work in bringing all interested parties to agreement before the crisis is paying off now.
"It's important to look at the quiet diplomatic work the administration did as North Korea prepared to launch these missiles," Green said. "The administration is now well-positioned to go back to these countries and say, 'North Korea defied you, and we should have a common position.' "
After the entire Security Council agreed to a unanimous communiquï ¿ ½, Bolton said he looks forward "to North Korea's full, unconditional and immediate compliance with this Security Council resolution."
"It sends an unequivocal, unambiguous and unanimous message to Pyongyang: suspend your ballistic missile program; stop your procurement of materials related to weapons of mass destruction, and implement your September, 2005 commitment to verifiably dismantle your nuclear weapons and existing nuclear programs," he told the council.
Said CBS Foreign Affairs Analyst Pamela Falk, "The unanimous vote at the Security Council on North Korea certainly sends a message to Iran that the world powers can work together and that the United Nations can be effective in sending a united message."
Falk, who doesn't miss much, also said, "and in a sign that the U.S. wishes to work with China, Ambassador Bolton wore a tie of the Beijing Olympics to the vote."
Bolton also stands four-square for U.N. reforms, including the elimination of waste, fraud and abuse; stricter rules for peacekeepers (following accusations that blue-helmeted U.N. troops had raped and abused Africans they were supposed to protect); better planning, contracting and accountability for the U.N. building modernizations project; complete openness and accountability for the culprits in the "Oil for Food" scandal; and new rules for dealing with international government corruption.
John Bolton spearheaded the U.S. effort to eliminate the notoriously corrupt U.N. Human Rights Commission with a new Human Rights Council. This ended years of corrupt influence exerted by former Commission mainstays of human rights like Sudan and Libya.
Bolton also took the lead in the U.S.'s effort to forge the Convention Against Corruption at the U.N.
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