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A Germ So Deadly, Avian Flu Seems A Sniffle

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T^R^R_ZM, they tell us, is a germ so dangerous that we must change the American way of life to fight it. We must break every law to find it, send nukes to halt it, and dismiss the very heart of the Constitution to overpower it.

But it is that dire. T^R^R_ZM is the virus that mutates sanity; the bug that eats Reason. One microscopic, undetectable leg drags across the petri dish of your mind, and you can't add 2 + 2 anymore. After T^RR^R_ZM nudges your equation, even the "=" sign is classified. That's how infectious and crippling it is.

Don't take this reporter's word for it, folks. Watch it in action. Just inject T^R^R_ZM into a sentence, page, or paragraph and watch the fun begin, as Reason is instantly dissolved by even the proximity of the word! It's a magical, New Age, nightmare NeoCon concoction of Thought anti-coagulates and Sanity corrosives that glide effortlessly past any leukocyte or lipid barrier to target the nucleus of the Sense cell and destroy it without leaving a trace.

T^R^R_ZM is the most powerful germ of all time, although through the years, different names have been used. In the end, the name is irrelevant, and T^R^R_ZM remains the only microscopic ultra-contagious agent strong enough that even a single whiff instantly fuses every synaptic cleft in the inhaler's brain. This causes the skeleton to fold into a kneeling position as the victim is wracked with shivers of fear and reverence.

T^R^R_ZM --so potent, that in its face, entire nations discard age-old and revered documents that had previously guided an entire working set of laws and rights!

T^R^R_ZM, so contagious that it can be transmitted through the warmer temperatures found in the hearts of Peace activists; the glue of library book bindings; kisses (especially with liberals); hostile glances, and even nervous thoughts!

T^R^R_ZM: so toxic that a President (or his agent) is allowed to banish or torture any citizen if he so much as personally suspects that the citizen in question is infected!

T^R^R_ZM. So verbally vicious and lexicographically limber that it dissolves words like "Unalienable"; crushes terms like "International," and has the power to wholly transform phrases like "Opposition Party" into others, such as "Silent Minority" or "Complicit By Means of Acquiescence."

The mind-bending might of this deadly agent must not be underestimated. You can't hold your breath long enough, you won't resist its taint, you cannot escape the touch of its toxin. You need protection. T^R^R_ZM is among you and your kind --and spreading rapidly (by means of handshake, telephone, email, mail, x-ray, infrared camera, nightscope, broken Treaty, dismissed Convention, violated Principle, and spy plane).

True: A group of granny activists hands out cookies to recruiters and they are tracked by the Pentagon because we live in an age of T^R^R_ZM, "so who knows?" asks Lt. Col Stan Zezotarski. "Who knows who could infiltrate that type of group and try to stir something up?"

Who knows, indeed.

A president is caught breaking the laws of the nation that (theoretically) elected him, but is hailed by many for doing so because of the silent but lurking viral touch of T^R^R_ZM.

Spreading like wildfire through their payroll departments, T^R^R_ZM creeps into the minds of various TV pundits, who refuse to actually collapse under the command of their illness or report to a psych ward, but instead, crouch and continue to gesticulate, ambulate, and spew inanity and dyslogic. On television. (One of the first signs you have been infected is that this nonsense begins to sound reasonable.)

A mighty nation on the verge of many modern scientific marvels turns backward to a time when Nuclear violence seemed a viable outlet for the human race's unceasing primitive aggressions against itself, and while many uninfected citizens express outrage and shock at the thought, the many minds darkened with the deadly T^R^R_ZM germ can only view such violence as a means of securing safety.

Such is the power of T^R^R_ZM. It corrupts the reasoning process and grips the heart with fear, and madness. It twists the normal pathways of thought into dangerous loops that veer and dive into knots that leave no escape. A mind infected with T^R^R_ZM sees an invitation to death and disorder as a New Day Dawning.

We have to face it: this threat is every bit as deadly as the Bush administration would have us believe. However, allowing these men and women to offer a prescription for its cure is like asking a leper for a backrub.

T^R^R_ZM. Will we survive it? One thing is sure: the sooner we remove from power the diseased minds currently serving as our Government, the sooner we'll know. It's all about Quarantine, right now. (Or "Impeachment," as the healers phrase it.)

 

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