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I'm the Decider...Now Watch This Drive

Message Dennis Diehl

I'm a uniter, not a divider.
Dictator works, 'cause I'm the decider.
Our children is learnin, and Bagdad's a burnin.
Brownee you won't go much higher.

I'll put food on your family, three jobs come in handy.
That's American now, and ain't it just dandy.
While misunderestimated, and fooled once or twice,
them internets rumours of draft just aint nice.

While Obee's can practice their love for all women,
animal human hybrids set my brain just a swimmin'.
And humans with fish can quite nicely dwell.
Me and Islam aren't doing as well.

Our foes are quite smart, but then so are we.
And I'm the decider, it's all about me.
Resourceful and cunning, to hurt us with glee.
They want to destroy us, and so do we.

In Texas they say, or mab' Tennessee,
Fool me...fool me, oh what can it be?
Shame on you or shame on me.
I forget, well you know what I meant it to be.

That poster in Texas says dead or alive.
So Osama is toast, Texas style, won't survive.
Well really I don't think of him much anymore.
Don't know where he is, don't care, who locked this door?

Now it's a hard thing Iraq to connect,
to September 11, but oh what the heck.
These people to me are all quite the same.
Damn, I can't even pronounce half their names.

These weapons are here, or there, let me look.
Under my desk or between that one book.
And my chain saw I use to mow down the brush.
I love to mow down. Man what a rush!

We shouldn't fear a world interacted,
as I said once, my words quite contracted.
I sometimes get twangled in stuff that I say.
But you know what I mean or you should anyway.

My best moment in office... Let me think, I'll not fake.
Twas the time that a bass lurking deep in my lake,
did bite on my line and I yanked quick away.
God I love my job, and have BIG plans to stay.

Now even though we all know I'm the Decider,
we must make mention of those suiciders.
On occasion were good at stopping these snooks,
from using the bombs we provided, and they took.

But mostly we fail, these people don't like us.
They don't like me like I don't like FISA's.
So I understand when we don't get our way.
We have this great urge to blow others away.

You won't know real history til after I"m gone.
So don't try predict it, cause I'm never wrong.
Sayin I'm sorry, is not what I do.
Nor Rummy, nor Condi, nor Karl, woo hoo.

Now New Orleans is a heck of place.
Take your family, your momma, to see this disgrace.
Now yes, I do know there is no money there,
But those people are used to living on air.

So it's all good and I have learned to ignore,
that heck of a job not done for the poor.
New Orleans, my symbol of all we can be,
stripped bare, like this country by leaders like me.

Since I'm a Uniter and also Decider.
We need to chat about suiciders.
Our freedom they hate, it's plain to see.
This is their way to say "I hate free."

But you will be free as defined by me,
and we leave when I'm good and ready.
Which may be never, cause I'm being clever.
Did I tell ya, got scratch by a tree?

I don't do funerals but will come to see,
those who lost legs below their knees.
But did I tell you, I got scratched by a tree?
So see, I'm like you, and you are like me.

I know that to most I do seem to enjoy,
war, death and killing, almost like toys.
I did kill the most ever, well Alberto and I,
of folks in 'ol Texas, and I do not lie.

When Carla asked me her dumb life to save,
I mocked her, I did, and she went to her grave.
"Oh please don't kill me," I did hear her say.
But what the heck, you die anyway.

See Brokeback you ask? Sure when there's a chance.
Umm, errr I mean, you should see my ranch.
It's my ranch that I mean to see and be plannin.
Next question please, yes sir, Mr. Gannon.

Well I gotta go, there's laws to be signin',
wars to be started and gold to be minin'.
My friends on the right also love when I say,
I had long talk with God. why just today.

And low and behold, they love even more,
when God tells me where and when to go war.
So Jesus can come, well that's what they say.
And I'll be the Prez they remember that way.

God told me to strike at that bastard Sadaam,
and the turrorests to put on the run.
Ok so I lied, and thousands have died,
but he threatened my dad, I'm his son.

So I'm the Decider, Uniter not Divider.
I'm King, I'll keep you alive.
Vote all you want, you won't win, you can not,
Hate our freedoms, they do...watch this drive.

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Dennis Diehl is a former pastor of 26 years,  who outgrew the Literalism of Fundamentalism.  He writes about Pastoral and Church abuse and is available to speak on such topics or be helpful to any church suffering under abusive (more...)

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