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Good News for GOP: Memory Fuzzy on Prosecutor Firings

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Tony Snow confirmed Friday that another case of amnesia has befallen the White House. This time it's not I. Lewis Libby with symptoms of the fahgettaboutit's--two weeks ago Libby was convicted of lying and obstructing the investigation into the role the White House played in leaking a CIA agent's identity to reporters. Throughout the trial, Libby's defense was: faulty memory.

Now it's Karl Rove, advisor to President Bush, White House spokesman Tony Snow, and Dan Bartlett, counselor to the president, who seem to have caught the bug.

Earlier in the week, Mr. Bartlett had a memory. The memory had a unique shape and distinction that set it apart from other memories.

It went something like this:

One pleasant afternoon, former White House counsel to the president, Harriet E. Miers--now safely out of office--upended a table in the middle of the president's lunch.

Harriet E. Miers Controlling President Bush with Jedi Mind Trick

"Arrrrr," she shouted, "I say, me maties, we terminate every last one of these cur-mongering, bloated knaves...dey be known as the 93 US Attorneys."

The President was shocked and speechless. He didn't know Harriet E. Miers wore an eye patch, and dressed in 18th century mariner's clothing.

"Get a hold of yerself," she bellowed at the President. "I don't really haf a hook nor peg leg nor missing eye. Dan Bartlett's dreamin' again."

With that, the President regained his composure.

"Now," Miers continued, "I know yer the President an all, an that's fine, but let me have those toad-bellied attorneys. I say they crossed me! Arrrrrr!"

As Miers tried to bargain with the President, Karl Rove pulled a turkey drumstick out of the mess on the floor, and bit into it vigorously. "I don't like it Miers!"he thundered, spitting turkey everywhere. "I don't like it one bit!"

That was the memory." Now, Bartlett would have to be some kind of reckless to have mis-remembered an incident like that, but that's apparently what happened.

On Friday, Snow retreated from the administration's earlier assertions that it was Miers who first proposed firing all 93 US Attorneys.

"We know that Karl had a recollection of Harriet's having raised it," Snow said. "And his recollection is that he dismissed it as not a good idea. That's what we know."

Now, wait a sec... "Karl had a recollection?" Had? This isn't even his current recollection? And what's this supposed to be? Karl's little pet recollection?

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Dean Powers lives in Castleton, VT. He has apprenticed at several newspapers including The Nation. He currently writes for OpEdNews. He can be found at

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