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Carpe Gay Marriageum (Seize the Gay)

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By scrambling within the last 24 hours to once again make this election about gay marriage, republicans have showed how out-of-sync and how illogical their tailspin is leaving them. This is now an issue democrats can slam republicans around with. Great. Make it an issue.

The best defensive play to run against a gay marriage offense at this point could be what is being rumored around in democratic blogs: a sarcastic national "counter campaign" for a bill that would protect the marriage of Congressmen and their male teenaged pages (yes it would protect gay marriage) or simply protect one-night-stand pedophiles in Congress.

It would be dubbed the "Cool" bill because that's the word Mark Foley used when a page affirmed that Foley did indeed give him erections. Giving it this name, and reminding voters why, would bring back that sickening feeling Christian voters were just getting rid of.

It would all be a joke at the expense of the republicans' popularity, like the beaver cap that Dick Cheney wore in the 2004 elections after John Kerry went quail hunting, but it would hammer home the reality about these hypocritical, power-grabbing republicans.

The strategy to rev up their base with gay marriage was reported in the New York Times today by Sheryl Gay Stolberg, who is a long-time Republican, giving aid and comfort to Bush. She's helping advance the lie that the G.O.P. has some massive get-out-the-vote machine, which is really a pre-cover-up for election stealing as planned by Karl Rove. And today she painted golden the prospects for republicans using their gay bashing strategy.

The republicans have forgotten that Americans now see their gay marriage posturing merely for what it is: a desperate power grab. They have forgotten that their lust for power, and their protection of pedophiles for power, is exactly what is turning off voters everywhere.

Republicans have made what could be the final gaffe of their political lives--going one last time to the gay marriage well.

The issue is gay marriage. The ace up the democrats' sleeve is Mark Foley. Democrats must battle back republicans using sarcasm, indignity and a profound belief in their righteousness. Democrats must rally their troops, from the get-out-the-vote college student fetching coffee for the local democratic office to the senior citizen worried about prescription drug prices all while dampening the spirit of Christian conservatives.

Today, and on this issue, democrats should synchronize a series of witty sarcastic remarks without getting breathless, hyper and so anxious with words that they turn off voters. There are hundreds of ways that the democrats can beat back republicans with sarcasm, and they should teleconference to brainstorm a strategy.

They should avoid getting serious on the first day or two. But if this isn't working, they should start a new list of talking points. These ought to be framed as follows: "The republicans are hoping that after only two weeks, the American people have forgotten the shameless way they protected a pedophile for years." Or, "Unfortunately, the American people know that the desperate republicans have nothing but power on their minds when they take a political stand against gay marriage."

Finally, if sarcasm and cutting comments fail, democrats ought to shame the republicans for trying to make this election about an issue that Congress has never, and will never, act on. They should point out that republicans are hammering on gay marriage because they don't have any ideas for Iraq, North Korea or any other growing threats from abroad. They should declare that republicans only know how to gut social services and redirect that tax money to the coffers of Halliburton, Big Oil and Big Pharma.

As promised, I am going to report how the propaganda machine is dodging reality just like they dodged the draft. Saying things like, "The public mind is changing and people are realizing that they don't want the democrats in power." This is a blatent lie, but these same people get away with pedophilia. So, no new surprise.

I will call out the Bush Administration spokespeople funded by the war chests of Halliburton, Big Oil and Big Pharma, and characterized in the likeness of Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and many so-called objective reporters.

These are the people who want you to believe that they are just humble, honest common folk. They want you to believe that it's courageous of them to make $3 million a year, drive around in limousines and pall around with the tyrannical political party on Capitol Hill. They want you to believe that the democrats are the DEMON! The DEMONCRATS! The BOOGEYMAN!

However, the changing republican strategy and some of the ideas about how to combat them needed to come first. I'll post all the instances of radio-land lying tomorrow.
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Dean Powers lives in Castleton, VT. He has apprenticed at several newspapers including The Nation. He currently writes for OpEdNews. He can be found at facebook.com/deanppowers.

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