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Pelosi Senza Cuore

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“Look,” Pelosi said, “I had, for five months, people sitting outside my home, going into my garden in San Francisco, angering neighbors, hanging their clothes from trees, building all kinds of things—Buddhas? I don’t know what they were—couches, sofas, chairs, permanent living facilities on my front sidewalk.  If they were poor and they were sleeping on my sidewalk, they would be arrested for loitering, but because they have ‘Impeach Bush’ across their chest, it’s the First Amendment.”

The trouble here is, of course, that blasted First Amendment.  Can't something be done about that thing?  We're doing so well at bestowing immunity on violators of the Fourth Amendment.  Where are our priorities?  Why do we work so hard on the FOURTH Amendment when the First Amendment has not yet been completely handled and the Third Amendment is still largely INTACT?

The other problem, I guess, is the money these impeachment advocates have.  If they were poorer, Pelosi could have them arrested.  But, what with the clothes and food they've got with them, not to mention Buddhas, they've got a possible claim to falling under what's left of that First Amendment.  Can't we IMPOVERISH them a little, for the good of our nation?  But how do we do that when they're wearing “Impeach Bush” shirts, and people who wear “Impeach Bush" shirts tend to get discounts and free stuff wherever they go?

Anyway, this pelosian outburst started me thinking about the, to me, unfathomable cruelty, cynicism, and heartlessness of a woman who would keep a war and a dangerous dictator around for two years in the probably misguided hope of electoral advantage.  I remembered this other bit of drama that I wrote down almost a year ago:

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Off the Table: A Farce in One Act
Staring Her With No Heart

Stage set: a dining room at left, an office at right

A woman enters the office where the phone is ringing. She answers it.

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NP: Hello? Why do you ask? Yes, I'm sure. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Impeachment is off the table. Now let me tell you about some new legislative proposals that I think you're really going to like. I'll give you what we're going to pass in the first hundred seconds and in the first hundred months. Which one do you want first? Let's start with…

The woman's voice lowers but continues as lights go up in the dining room, where we see a cat jump off the table and wander into the office where the woman is hanging up the phone.

NP: Where were you sweetie? Was I ignoring you? Come here kitty kitty. I didn't mean to ignore you.

The phone rings. The cat leaves.

NP: Hello? Yes, this is Nancy Pelosi. Yes, I know, but an investigation investigates. It doesn't impeach. I've said it before and I'll say it again – Will you excuse me a second?

Nancy gets up and walks to door of dining room, where cat is sprawled on the table.

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NP: Impeachment! Get off the table! Now!

The cat flees.

NP: I'm sorry. No. No. It was some, um. There were some stem cells, I mean a doctor about some stem – Dennis Hastert? Why would anyone want to clone Dennis Hastert? I don't follow. Listen, impeachment is off the table. I assure you. Because we've been given a mandate to effect change and…

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http://davidswanson.org
David Swanson is the author of "When the World Outlawed War," "War Is A Lie" and "Daybreak: Undoing the Imperial Presidency and Forming a More Perfect Union." He blogs at http://davidswanson.org and http://warisacrime.org and works for the online (more...)
 

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