59 online
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 52 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
Exclusive to OpEd News:
General News   

Skinny "Bastards" and Pastors Join "Bitches" in Praising V-word

By       (Page 1 of 1 pages)   No comments
Message Martha Rosenberg
Become a Fan
  (84 fans)
Salad is out and red meat is in on the first date says the New York Times in an August article.

Fortifying yourself with food before a date like our moms did so you can order light and appear ladylike--until the date drops you off and you can pig out like the comic strip character, Cathy--is passe.

Ordering salad today doesn't mean you have a dainty appetite, it means you're "wimpy, insipid, childish" says Michelle Heller. Chicken doesn't mean you're demure; it means you're "finicky" echoes Sloane Crosley.

No, real woman are favoring the butchered column of the menu writes Allen Salkin--conveying to their dates they are down to earth and have no food or weight issues.

But tell it to Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin whose Skinny b*tch has camped out on the New York Times bestseller list all summer immortalized by reported endorsements by Victoria Beckham (aka Posh Spice) and Lindsay Lohan.

Not only does meat make you fat they say--you're a "gluttonous pig" if you think you can "eat cheeseburgers all day long and lose weight"--you also are what you eat and "no matter how you slice it, it's still a putrefying corpse."

Nor do the authors have good words for dairy which they write treats unwitting consumers to prolactin, somatostatin, melatonin, oxytocin, growth hormone, luteinizing hormone-releasing hormone, thyrotropin-releasing hormone, thyroid-stimulating hormone and fourteen other unwanted hormones in addition to fat, calories, cholesterol and antibiotics.

Now wonder you're fat and bloated say the authors whose writing leans toward Drill Instructor; First Week.

And it's not just b-girls either; skinny bastards are writing about diet too like Daily Mail reporter Edward Batha who lost five pounds and reduced his cholesterol by 23 percent after a one month vegan diet he didn't even want to try.

("'I'm a vegan,' I said pathetically as if announcing botulism," he remembers).

He also slept better, "lost that desperate urge for dairy produce," and achieved greater regularity. (Many phrases are coined for this phenomenon in a Skinny b*tch chapter called Pooping. What are they trying to say?)

There are even skinny pastors like Rev. George Malkmus of Shelby, N.C. whose The Hallelujah Diet which includes no red meat, high-fat foods or "food with a face" was listed No. 1 on Amazon.com just weeks after its release last year. Malkmus adopted a vegan diet thirty years ago after being diagnosed with colon cancer and expects to die of old age.

Not only do animal products cause "90 percent of problems we have today...heart attacks, strokes, cancer, diabetes, you name it," he tells the Ledger-Enquirer, "The food that God designed did not have all these chemicals and growth hormones."

But you don't need knowledge of the scriptures to benefit from The Hallelujah Diet Rev. Malkmus assures. "We have had a number of people without faith apply the principles to get well. The Christian body is no different than any other."

Still, what if you're not worried about losing weight or going to Heaven? And, like Batha, "very happily complicit in being removed from the knowledge of how my meat gets to be on my plate?"

There's another reason to consider the V-word.

Vegansexuals--a group of mostly young and attractive vegans in New Zealand--are refusing sexual contact with meat eaters!

"I would not want to be intimate with somebody whose body is literally made up from the bodies of others who have died for their sustenance," says one Vegansexual on Stuff.co.nz

"It would disgust me to see my boy tucking into a chicken," says another adding that she "struggles" with bodily fluids, especially "sexually."

Even kissing presents ethical and aesthetic problems for another Vegansexual who is turned off at the thought of "lips that allow dead animals to pass between them."

And while some New Zealand meat eaters say Vegansexuals will breed themselves out of existence and that their ideas are ill conceived--"animals were put on this earth for human USE!" writes commentator Ann Lowenstein. "They do NOT have 'jobs,' they don't 'bowl' and they are NOT being 'exploited'"--others might start to give second thoughts to what they eat when they see an attractive, potential mate.

Especially on first dates.
Rate It | View Ratings

Martha Rosenberg Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Martha Rosenberg is an award-winning investigative public health reporter who covers the food, drug and gun industries. Her first book, Born With A Junk Food Deficiency: How Flaks, Quacks and Hacks Pimp The Public Health, is distributed by (more...)

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Grassley Investigates Lilly/WebMD link Reported by Washington Post

The Drug Store in Your Tap Water

It's the Cymbalta Stupid

Are You Sure You're Not Psychotic Asks Shameless Drug Company?

Another Poorly Regulated "Derivative"--the Antidepressant Pristiq

MRSA and More. Antibiotics Linked to Obesity and Allergies, Too

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend