It was a dismal cold day in May and the clocks had just sounded 0800 hours. The view from the Victory Mansions nestled high in the hills above Berkeley provided a reinforcement of the previous evening's weather guess with a tableau of pewter skies and soggy ground. Uncle Rushbo was scheduled to read out a list of figures which have something to do with the production of safe atomic energy.
Adhering to the journalistic tradition of writing a column about the end of the world a few days in advance of when the catastrophe was expected, by many devout conservative Christians, to occur seemed imperative to the World's Laziest Journalist, but the cynical curmudgeonly columnist couldn't provide himself with the logical motivation for undertaking (did you have to use that word?) of such an existentialist errand.
If the World really was going to end on Saturday, why bother to do the keystrokes necessary for an obituary for use on Sunday? Why bother?
Heck, if the United States can continue the War in Afghanistan for no discernable reason, why couldn't the columnist bang out a few more snide remarks, bits of esoteric information, and political predictions that seemed to be a bit too liberal even by Berkeley's standards? Why not? The alternative was to get the umbrella and go for a cold wet walk to the usual destinations.
Would the tree-huggers appreciate the humor if the world did end on Saturday? Such a catastrophe would mean that the human race became extinct in a photo finish with the end of the polar bear (Ursis Maritimus) species, which had been predicted extensively since long before the first "End of the World" billboard had been unveiled.
What about a bit of irony for the optimists who assume they'll get docked if they are late for work next Monday morning? Because, we believe, there will still be "miles to go" on Monday Morning.
In the film "Point Break," the surfer/bank robber, Bhodi (Patrick Swayze) advises the Establishment, in the form of FBI agent Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves), to "think it through."
Have the banksters used the "think it through" method to assess the long term effects of the wave of home repossessions?
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