Why is everybody trashing fake news,
Which rounds out my tweets and strengthens my views?
More reliable than squawkers on Fox,
Mine gives deep meaning to those who break rocks.
I draw this news from sheer circumstance,
Lest harsh realities lead us a dance.
Like this guy who saw long lines of buses,
Figured riders had shown up for fusses
With Prez-elect Trump, and tweeted quick-time:
"This was all planned and on George Soros' dime!"
Just 40 followed this observant guru,
But his tweet as one they flung far a-strew.
Exactly what's needed in this day and age!
Less info and fact, and more self-made sage!
More guys like me who can add one and one,
Come up with three and then hit a home run.
I've just ten followers: who gives a jay?
My guys will die to blare what I say.
Now since you're all here attending my spiel,
I've got some news you're welcome to peal:
The Empire State Building just toppled to ground!
Midtown Manhattan to pulp has been pound'!
Terrorism 'twas till yours truly revealed,
Yule trees in offices made steel beams yield.
You're pro'bly wondering who was my source.
When to be honest 'twas just logic's force:
I read on the Net that all Christmas fluff
Adds 10 percent weight to mere office stuff.
A hundred packed stories of bulbs, gifts and trunks,
Will make old beams bend and cause major clunks.
Which must've caused that big cloud of dust,
That made all complain and facemasks a must.
Freedom Tower can we clearly negate,
Leaving most likely the Empire State,
If you haven't heard it's the media's fault,
Ordered to cover the rise of right-alt.
Weight, old beams, and copious dust:
I put it together and in God We Trust
Tossed it on Twitter and got folks informed,
Unlike hacks mainstream who keep us conformed.
Sometimes I'm wrong, but nuts, what the hey,
For your reporter it's all in a day.