Conspiracies abound, and I like mine juicy,
With grammar atrocious and middling spoofy,
Here a fact turned and there a vid squibbed,
Making you wonder if you're not getting ribbed,
With "blatant," "obvious," "clear," "unimpeachable":
Sales reps of truth, that phantom unreachable.
I wonder why now they bloom so full rife,
In an age when the networks toot so-loud fife,
Covering the sex jollies of every famed clown,
Scrying odd cancers lest our health is cut down,
Speculative waxing on the Donald's blond hair,
And wondering wisely on the CO2 scare.
Perhaps the reason's they fall silent en masse,
Whenever great tragedy does come to pass,
When madmen shoot kids or towers get whacked,
They feel a duty to be sure it gets flacked
As authorities present it and not how it looks,
And not grill the parents or check their checkbooks.
Take Sandy Hook and the media unbound,
Did nobody notice no children around?
A storm of kids should squall through the news:
The runny-nosed squeal of 400 buckaroos.
Yet the whole thing came off with the greatest aplomb,
A statement from cops, at most a sad mom.
Or take the Pulse killings, and the uniform show,
Of the same three victims lacking any blood flow,
All carried back in the direction of crime,
And yet no news editor even had time
To see in the distance the huge P of the place,
For the only thing sought was the classic vid ace.
The worst one, of course, is old 9-11,
Which surely wins out as conspiracy heaven,
For rare is the aspect that stands a hard look,
From towers' collapse to M. Atta's flight book,
Not a syllable of which have reporters e'er deigned,
To review or research or say needs be changed.
So into the breach have the vigilant leapt,
Not all fair, not all smart, and many inept,
And plagued good ol' YouTube with video galore,
Charging the government with treason and more,
And saying the media must be in cahoots,
Glad to spin tales and take in big loots.
The Info Age is thus quickly becoming,
Victim of vile informational slumming.
What's true and what's not on the state of affairs,
Depends on hobbyists who work from armchairs.
And much to blame are reporters fair-faced,
Filing big scoops with bold cut-and-paste.