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Was Edgar Welch Pizza-zzed?

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Fred Gransville
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Pizzagate is the latest tin-foil hat conspiracy theory that originated from the John Podesta emails released by Wikileaks during the 2016 presidential campaign. Reddit and 4chan saw something diabolical in the discussion of a lost handkerchief and whether Podesta's friend thinks he will do better playing dominos on cheese rather than on pasta.

An article about this nonsense was at 4Chan but then scrubbed from the Internet. An archived version "Pizzagate": How 4Chan Uncovered the Sick World of Washington's Occult, is still available. The emails that almost got the employees at a kid-friendly restaurant killed are clearly misconstrued as coded pedophila messages. [1] Here's a link to the first of three Podesta emails

On Sep 2, 2014 2:54 PM, "Sandler, Susan" ses|AT|sandlerfoundation.orgwEmail addressrote: Hi John, The realtor found a handkerchief (I think it has a map that seems pizza-related. Is it yorus? They can send it if you want. I know you're busy, so feel free not to respond if it's not yours or you don't want it. Susaner John Podesta replies (09-04-2014): "It's mine but not worth worrying about." Source: Wikileaks
Some of these pizzazzed fools believe "cheese pizza" is a euphemism for child porn and question why a politically powerful person would leave a handkerchief with pizza-related maps on them.

What is the big deal? Realtors come across items that were left in houses all the time. But because these conspiracy idiots believe: "hotdog" = boy

"pizza" = girl

"cheese" = little girl

"pasta" = little boy

"ice cream" = male prostitute

"walnut" = person of color

"map" = semen

"sauce" = orgy

They came up with this nonsense explanation for why would someone have a "pizza-related map" on a handkerchief. "Map" is commonly used as slang for any sort of residual DNA evidence, i.e. forensics investigators have used that term. Realtor is the "cleaner," aka someone who makes sure there is no evidence of the crime. The handkerchief, it turns out according to Anon reports and others, have long been known to be code for sexual fetishes to the point that it is even on Wikileaks. The second email

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I have been honing my craft as a writer since I graduated from Princeton University. I have been a newspaper reporter, a book editor and a Hollywood scriptwriter. My humor has been published in a number of publications. I have written two (more...)
 

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