What if you put a liberal ("lib") and a Trump supporter
In a men's locker room shower together
Stark naked
And told them they couldn't get dressed
Until they found something about each other
To like,
How long would it take?
Would they kill each other first?
I didn't just dream up this scenario!
There is a gym at a local college near where we live
Where my wife and I go a few times a week.
(She uses the pool for laps and I work out.)
I was heading for the men's room in the men's locker room
And passed two (naked) men,
Roughly my age,
Shouting at each other in the common shower.
I am in the toilet stall, listening in.
The vitriol was palpable.
These guys were polar opposites:
One a liberal (I can spot them a mile away
Like an expert birder can spot a red-winged blackbird.
Besides, I used to be one.)
The other guy, a card-carrying Trump-supporter,
Fox News fan, etc.
They were literally shouting over each other
At the top of their lungs
(Their voices amplified by the locker room),
Neither one was listening to the other.
The Trump guy was the most agitated
And was winding up like a spring.
The other guy seemed to be trying to wind down,
Gradually detaching from his emotions,
Turning down the boil to simmer,
But the Trump guy was getting more upset,
Calling the other guy a "wus", and a "commie".
I'm a fly on the wall,
But I took it as a window on our times.
No way would I have stepped in,
And tried to mediate.
It was too toxic.
I just wanted to get away from the toxic energy.
The hot-head left first,
With a: "You know what? F-k you!"
I was able to share a few words of solidarity
With the liberal guy.
He was exhausted.
He said that never happened before.
Classic deer in the headlights. I just said something like
It's best to avoid toxic people", and "remember, he has all the guns."
I'm glad I am in a men's group so I can bring this up
When we pass the talking stick.
I can't discuss this kind of thing with my wife.
She is feeling very vulnerable these days
With everything that is happening in the world
And in her world.
She's feeling too stretched.
I seem to have a greater capacity to hold tension.
And I am able to vent and emote through my poetry
and other writing . . .
But this was so raw and somehow "numinous" to me,
lt seemed like I was supposed to witness
This confrontation, but what is the takeaway?
It's men who are the problem.
I feel strongly about that.
I thought the Trump guy was stupid in a Trumpian sort of way
Maybe scared, but wired for flight or flight.
Those seemed to be his only options.
What was disturbing to me was
He was incapable of de-escalating.
He was completely caught up by violent emotions
That he had no control over.
And the other guy was like someone
Who inadvertently disturbed a wasp nest.
One thing I didn't mention was,
There had recently been a murder in the area
Near the college, that is supposed to be a safe campus.
I think it was a conversation about the murder
That whipped up this confrontation.
(An elderly woman was shot on a rail trail.)
I'm at the point in my life when
I am not interested in
1) mediation (helping these guys find common ground),
2) a Buddhist approach (collecting myself
And centering and letting my inner state of calm
Ripple out into the universe),
3) a Jungian approach - Go home and revisit
This upsetting episode as a shadow problem,
Taking responsibility for my projections onto both men. . .
4) shifting all my focus to supporting
A strong or emergent leader
Who seems to be offering
An enlightened,alternative to our broken political system
(As if there were such a person)..
I see these two men
As grotesque fun-house mirrors of each other.
They are basically the same man
With two heads
Because they haven't grown up!
And yet it is people like them
Who are running the world!
And the fact that they were naked in the shower
-- Stark naked --
Seemed to underscore
This bizarre situation we find ourselves in.
Can you believe it?
Two naked old men in the shower
Who are close to killing each other
Because they are so angry
Scared (although they would rather die than admit it)
And clueless.
(Article changed on Oct 11, 2023 at 1:43 PM EDT)
(Article changed on Oct 11, 2023 at 2:53 PM EDT)