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Life Arts    H4'ed 4/23/15

They're so Big, These Small Silly Things

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"Let's Face It, Your Prince....
Turned Into A Toad."
I'm sorry. Love you Mucho,
~Dad
___________________


(Image by e³°°°)   Details   DMCA

That's what the card my step-dad gave me when I was twelve said. That's one of the ways he apologized for molesting me.

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I had told my mom about the midnight touching and she kicked him out of the house. But first she insisted he apologize to me.

At the time this card, with a cartoon drawing of a prince on its cover and an adorable little toad on the inside, seemed almost ridiculous.

It wasn't.

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I still have it today.

My mom is brilliant.

My step-dad not only admitted his guilt, he gave me something physical that blamed him. Not me, him.

You have no idea how big that is. How comparatively easy it made my healing, and possibly his.

Well, maybe you do know.

A scary number of boys and girls, men and women, are raped or molested.

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A scary number are never believed and are alone in their healing. That's after they've gotten the courage (and boy, does it take courage!) to tell someone what happened to begin with.

A scary number never tell in the first place.

My mom is brilliant.

Not only was she aware of how important it would be for me to know entirely that I was believed and not at fault (because she is one of the scary numbers who was not believed and even blamed) but she insisted he apologize and make it obvious.

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As the mother of four wonderful teenage boys Tsara spends a lot of time figuring out who she is so she can teach her sons to do the same. She also hears herself holler, "Stop Eating!" an awful lot! As her boys get older, she gets louder while (more...)
 

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