Any fundamental socio-economic market
correction causes disruptive dislocation as it seeks a new
equilibrium. One venture capitalist, distraught at the prospect of
decreasing income inequality, plunged to his death from a financial
district office tower [5].
As detailed in the previous expose,
pragmaconomists offer paradigm-shifting, shovel-ready solutions to
the problem of the surplus-affluent and their protracted obstruction
of the nation's economic recovery. Congress, deadlocked by the
malfeasance of Republican "Richies", was nonetheless browbeaten
by public outcry into passing a WPA [6] Act. After years
of pro-affluent legislation, quid pro quo, and "constituent
meetings" devoted to bonking K-Street bimbos, pragma-pundits dub
this sea change in legislative productivity "epic".
Using innovative socio-mediant protocols, the act empowers HHS to re-position affluent commodities for maximum economic utility. Thus empowered, a portion of these vastly overvalued villains have been parceled out to public-interest groups for re-branding [7] and put to work on public-infrastructure projects [8] .
The public has been overwhelmingly
supportive of these job-creating initiatives for the underemployed
elite. Several pedestrians in Times Square, interviewed at random,
gushed with unabashed enthusiasm. "It's so exciting to see them
become productive!" cheered one woman, a teacher visiting from
central Minnesota.
Another, a man who owns a small
business in Portland, Oregon, was less avid. "Yeah, I hired some
"Richies". Had a few problems with the dress code, if ya know
what I mean."
Another pedestrian, a New York native
and therapist, was hopeful. "By actually mingling with complex,
well-rounded and tolerant people, the affluent may evolve
semi-emotive and semi-empathetic skillsets that cause the casual
observer to mistake them for... (a tear was seen forming in his
eye.)... human beings! It's potentially wonderful!"
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