Tonight on 60 minutes
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Lesley Stahl: You're president-elect.
Donald Trump: Thank you.
Lesley Stahl: How surprised were you?
Donald Trump: Well, I really felt we were doing well. I was on a string of about 21 straight days of speeches, sometimes many a day and the last two days I really--I really had a pretty wild time. I did six speeches and then I did seven and... (BOW TO YOUR DARK LORD OH LESLIE OF CLAN STAHL.)
Lesley Stahl: But everyone thought you were going to lose.
Donald Trump: I know, I did my final speech in Michigan at 1:00 in the morning and we had 31,000 people, many people outside of the arena. And I felt--when I left, I said, "How are we gonna lose?" We set it up a day before. And we had all of these people. And it was literally at 1:00 in the morning and I said, "This doesn't look like second place." So we were really happy, I mean, it was--these are great people. (THE GREAT DARK LORD KNOWS ALL AND SEES ALL.)
Lesley Stahl: On election night, I heard you went completely silent. Was it a sort of realization of the enormity of this thing for you?
Donald Trump: I think so, it's enormous. I've done a lotta big things, I've never done anything like this. It is so big, it is so--it's so enormous, it's so amazing. (I HAVE BENT TIME AND SPACE TO MY WILL, PLANETS HAVE SHRUNK IN FEAR OF MY DEVASTATING COSMIC POWERS, BUT I AM THE MOST HUMBLE SO I WILL BE HUMBLE FOR YOU BECAUSE I AM THE MOST HUMBLE.)
Lesley Stahl: It kind of just took your breath away? Couldn't talk?
Donald Trump: A li-- a little bit, a little bit. And I think--I realized that this is a whole different life for me now. (IS THERE A DUNGEON IN THE WHITE HOUSE?)
Lesley Stahl: Hillary called you. Tell us about that phone call.
Donald Trump: So Hillary called and it was a lovely call and it was a tough call for her, I mean, I can imagine. Tougher for her than it would have been for me. And for me, it would have been very, very difficult. She couldn't have been nicer. She just said, "Congratulations, Donald, well done." And I said, "I want to thank you very much, you were a great competitor." She is very strong and very smart. (MY WILL KNOWS NO POWER BUT MY OWN. THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE.)
Lesley Stahl: What about Bill Clinton? Did you talk to him?
Donald Trump: And he-- he couldn't have been more gracious. He said it was an amazing run. One of the most amazing he's ever seen. (BILL IS NOTHING BUT AN EMPTY HUSK I USE FOR AMUSEMENT.)
Lesley Stahl: He said that.