Article: The End of the World? I'm Taking Bets.

Eruption
(Image by U.S. Geological Survey) Details DMCA

I'm now taking bets on the end of the world,
Not when or why, but on the how it's unfurled,
'Cause as time goes on we find crazy new ways
To push our species o'er the cliff of malaise,
For you can't flip a coin now on climate or nukes:
A.I. and viruses have put up their dukes.
.
On nukes I'm offering about three-to-one,
Depending on if the Russkies will have won
On a walkover, siege, or storming of Kiev,
That throws Joe Biden into nuke panic and peeve,
Panic as the election looms on horiz',
And peeve 'cause he can't hide it from prying eyes.
.
But take heart: on the climate there's money to make.
If your bet's ten bucks, why, a full twenty's your rake,
Still, there's a condition I hereby invoke:
It's pre-Second Coming and fully post-woke.
If Jesus is coming, I'm spending on Him,
Not some inner child with an urge-to-purge whim.
.
Next up there's Covid but no longer nineteen,
Nor quite up to thirty but something between,
Depending on the Yanks taking serious aim,
Determined to wreck China's entire game,
Sending as virus like the Deep State boys dare to
The thousand mortal shocks Xi's flesh is heir to.
.
We hope on E. Pluribus they don't repercuss,
But you never know, it's all up for discuss'.
Me, I'm offering a cool five-to-one shot,
So get your butt vaxxed and take that sweet pot,
Though if you've kicked bucket, I'm not paying off,
You must show up standing despite a bad cough.
.
Then there's A.I., the newest threat to exist':
P.C.s with a grudge, ain't that a new twist!
You'd think with the headaches they cause modern man
They'd have enough fun and no need to kick can.
But I offer no odds, since A.I.'s too late:
We've already done plenty to seal our own fate.