Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 29 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds    H2'ed 5/26/22

The Cult of Z...

Follow Me on Twitter     Message John Hawkins
Become a Fan
  (9 fans)
Z at the Cannes Festival
Z at the Cannes Festival
(Image by Cannes)
  Details   DMCA

I. Z at 17

Once upon a time in space

there was a happy little dancing man

with a moony smile upon his face

and a pencil stash, moved with pizzash

across the floor of the celestial sea

He dreamed of passing his TEFL

and moving to a kibbutz (wouldn't you?)

amidst a green Gaza olive orchard

taken from a semi semite named Fahq

but Da says no and he can't go

but his head kept on swimming though

and he became a moonwalking crotch-clutching

Ukraine vaudeville star in black leather pants

moving on stage like pockets full of ants

over-engaged charlie chaplin leggy showgirl action

and looking on, playing doctor, one thinks: ritalin

is in order

II. Z Dances with the Stars

Don't dance so close to me

was not the young but older Z's motto

balls had dropped, hair was had

there was nothing to stop class-clown's progress

but the full moon itself on Broadway

and the reluctant nyets of inward glances of desire

when you think of how Yeltsin

stepped like a dancing bear next door

for the Yankee Doodle Dandy element

soused and slurring and gaily patriotic

you shake the egg noggin and sigh

but Zlod when he trods among the stars

like Legs Diamond to a full house

conjures up gardens of earthly delights

in Jew heaven, and, Jesus,

there is only Jew heaven

when you think about it

III. Z's Oligarch

Somewhere along the line Z broke bad

and his zigs zagged and zags zigged

and his dancing pinstripe suit introjected itself

and he started doing taxi driver moons in the glass

you talkin' to me?

and he'd pull a Marxist mirror scene

circling around the other side to see himself

as the other half sees him

and there he was

in the nude of his being

seeing the Pimp, Ihor

the Jewish Thor cellphone in hand

pulling a pallet of cash out of his pocket

telling twinkle toes to run

for office with that mighty orifice

but first the warm up tour on TV

as Servant of the People

IV. Burisma's Oligarch

Meanwhile, back on the funny farm

the Burisma Gas and Lights operation

was cracking shale in Donbass

sizing up the terrain littered with bodies

human bodies, piled high in energy fields

Chevron had seen in the Ghan

Papa, who was a bulldozer driver

at the Auschwitz festival, at the wheel

of fortune in men's eyes

smiling at the mourning sun

black hole
black hole
(Image by natgeo)
  Details   DMCA

Hunter Biden was high on hooch

collecting tax evaded clams in the boardroom

under the table, where Cofer Black

ambassador spy at large and mercenary man

would soon join him, technically

there to help Ihor with hit men in the field

he vowed to go on until flies were goose-stepping

across Wagner's eyes (surprise, surprise)

in Russian-speaking gas holdings

then someone farts

then someone lights a match

V. The Bidens

Joe's the first president

from a credit slave state

worships usury and Christ

so forget about relief

onerous student loans

my Black friends,

including you, Corn Pop,

you still owe for Barber School

and for the costume you never returned

playing Sweeney Todd from the Hood

black hole
(Image by natgeo)
  Details   DMCA

in the end the black hole swallows

all light from head to toe, no glow

"nothing says f*ck You, Putin,

like a Biden on the board of Burisma"

in a debt slave country

full of Bernie Madoffs and low-rent

goombahs, although the pretty girls

on the heel can kick up a storm or two

Donbass today, renamed Burisma tomorrow

leggo my eggo, you little "schizo" twerp

quoth the oligarch who shall remain nameless

VI. Cofer Black

Compare and contrast

before your reputation's trashed

by nefarious poltergeisties

of the same ol' new world order


end scene The Fight Club 1999
end scene The Fight Club 1999
(Image by MGM)
  Details   DMCA

OODA about page
OODA about page
(Image by OODA)
  Details   DMCA

Do you know where your message is tonight?

VIII. Clown Servant of the People TV

Vlod couldn't believe the sh*t

he was seeing, until 2014 arrived

with relief from the CIA

and redistributed the wealth

Ihor made off like a bandit with PrivatBank cash

laundered in the Ozarks

and then came the big break

and Vlod came clean and told the truth

In Irish classrooms they tell limericks

as political anecdotes to children

little paddy hahas of infinite delight

which has nothing to do with anything

just saying

VII. Why We Want Z as Prez

He's handsome as Elvis

if the Pelvis had been Ukrainian

and he passed his TV couch casting

as the forever carping servant of the people

he could dance

he could vaudeville

he could joke

but best of all

he knew nothing about politics

in one of the most corrupt countries in the world

according to a US controlled transparent agency


And when Trump threatened him

with withholding funds for weapons

like Biden had done years before

he didn't tell DJ to take a flying leap

through an upside down snowstorm in Greece

he acted dazed and confused, because he was an actor

and let the eavesdropping CIA whistleblower

pass on third hand accounts of the phone call to the IG

and impeachment was all the apples she wrote

V. Clown Servant of the People For Realz

Let's hear it for (applause ejaculates prematurely) for

the precedent president (he had that in common with Trump)

the first Jew outside of Israel to rule

Bernie Sanders was so fuckin upset

to see how easy it could be elsewhere

Vlod, a self-loathing Jew holocaust denier sorta (Haaretz)

Z the nancy boy confusing one dancer with another

Z with a ruff gruff huff knows how to act tuff, especially in the buff

the dream comes true for Z's handlers

Z makes money, pleads with Congress for cash and a no-fly zone,

shows them how the service sector has taken a hit,

and there's not a dry eye in the House or Senate,

Schiff recalls how he was serviced in Odessa, weeps to think

Z's one lucky busker!

It's your money America!

Your roads, hospitals, and schools

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Keep it coming!

The offshore banking business is alive and well


Even if democracy's not

Democracy's not



Until finally there's nothing left

but to stand and applaud the performance

in a Two-Minute Love

at Cannes


Zelensky's Oligarch Connection - Radio Free Europe (April 18, 2019)

Businessmen accused of Ukraine money laundering gave millions to New York charities -

NY Post (March 05, 2021)

Who Is Ukrainian Billionaire Ihor Kolomoisky? - Grunge (May 01, 2022)

How Hunter Biden's Interests 'Overlapped' With Banned Ukrainian Oligarch -

The Daily Signal (March 31, 2021)

Secret Empires (online) by Peter Schweizer. See Ch.4 "Bidens in Ukraine."

Ukraine Launches "Shale Genocide" Near the Demarcation Lin in the Donbass -

The Donabass Insider (February 19, 2021)

Factbox: Burisma, the obscure Ukrainian gas company at the heart of U.S. political row =

Reuters (9/24/2019)

Must Read 1   Funny 1   Supported 1  
Rate It | View Ratings

John Hawkins Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

John Kendall Hawkins is an American ex-pat freelance journalist and poet currently residing in Oceania.

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Follow Me on Twitter     Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Chicago 7: Counter Cultural Learnings of America for Make Money Glorious Nation of Post-Truthvaluestan

Sonnet: Man-Machine: The Grudge Match

Outing the Appendix: The Climate Change Wars

Q and A with Carey Gillam of The New Lede

Sonnet: Mother's Day Poem

Finding the Mother Tree: An Interview with Suzanne Simard

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend