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OpEdNews Op Eds    H4'ed 6/22/10

The BP oil conspiracy: Coming Attractions!

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Message Allan Goldstein
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Nobody can say when the disaster in the Gulf will end. How long the oil will spill, how much, with what heinous consequences, those are all open questions and none of the answers are good.

But I can see the future and I have terrible news. The spill may stop, but it will never end.

After the well is capped, the months of cleanup and the years of hearings and investigations, the BP oil spill will belong to history. History will spawn myth, and together they will beget an incestuous child who is truly immortal--the conspiracy theory.

Not possible, you say? The facts are too clear in this case? Do not underestimate the power of the paranoid human mind, mortal one. There are among us those who accuse the apple of being in cahoots with Eve, an event that happened 6000 years ago, or never, depending upon whom you ask.

Take it to the bank, the BP oil conspiracies are coming, and they'll sound something like this:

"Everything you've been told about the so-called BP oil spill is a lie."

A group of dedicated researchers with extensive experience in the Kennedy assassination and 9/11 conspiracies has uncovered the truth. What they found is too shocking to disbelieve.

There never was a well! The "well" is a cover up. The CIA, working in conjunction with the Centers for Disease Control and Homeland Security created an underwater lab, deep beneath the Gulf of Mexico, to conduct genetic experiments. The goal was to design a new virus for the poor and disenfranchised of the world, now that AIDS has lost its punch.

Hundreds of pathogens were created and tested before prototype virus X-437 was deemed successful, achieving over 90% mortality in late-stage trials. The launch was supposed to be at the World Cup, the germs embedded on the mouthpieces of vuvuzelas. But the project was more difficult than expected. With the deadline approaching they tried to ramp up production, but the containment unit failed and virus poured into the Gulf.

The CDC knew that, in a matter of days, people around the Gulf beaches were going to get sick. Not sick enough to die, the seawater weakened the virus too much for that, but sick enough to draw dangerous media attention to the Gulf. A cover up was needed. Some other disaster to carry the blame and befuddle the masses.

Thus was the "BP oil spill myth" born. When people around the Gulf began to fall ill, they blamed it on exposure to crude.

And they almost got away with it, until the BP truthers uncovered the plot.

There were no eleven men killed in the explosion, there was no explosion, that was all special effects. The men were lab workers, killed for knowing too much. There's not even an oil well. The oil is being shipped in, pumped from those boats you see at the so-called spill site. Those videos of the leak are being produced on the same sets they used to fake the moon landings.

But the conspiracy goes far deeper than that. The government would never countenance the destruction of a major, multinational corporation. So where did the hush money come from to take care of BP?

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San Francisco based columnist, author, gym rat and novelist. My book, "The Confessions of a Catnip Junkie" is the best memoir ever written by a cat. Available on Amazon.com, or wherever fine literature is sold with no sales tax collected. For (more...)
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