63 online
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 41 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
Life Arts   

April Fools Satire! Tell All Book Explains Seattle KIRO Radio Host Dori Monson's Mental Breakdown

By       (Page 1 of 3 pages)   No comments
Message Mark Taylor-Canfield
Become a Fan
  (1 fan)
Originally published @ Seattle Star as an April Fools joke April 1, 2015
click here

A former KIRO colleague claims that local shock jock Dori Monson has been a voluntary participant in a series of corporate sponsored mind control experiments. In her new book, How Dori Monson Lost His Mind, author Sarah Bumkowski explains Monson's mental breakdown as a "terrible tragedy" that has "permanently marred" the KIRO radio personality's decades long broadcasting career.

Official personnel records show that Sarah Bumkowski worked with Monson for three years while she was employed at Entercom headquarters in Seattle. Bumkowski's position as his personal assistant allowed her to observe the inner workings of what she calls "The Strange World of Dori Monson". As his intellectual faculties steadily degraded, she became concerned about the stability of his mind.

The author claims that Monson's mental decline is a direct result of a harmful pharmacological cocktail which he has consumed on a daily basis while participating as a willing test subject in an Entercom sponsored science experiment.

Bumkowski says Monson is regularly given large doses of a horse tranquilizer, added to his morning cup of Starbucks coffee.

"The company wanted to find out if they could artificially manufacture right-wing talk show hosts to fill positions at their other conservative radio station KTTH," she said.

Apparently, after several weeks of this experimental chemical treatment, Monson eventually went "bonkers".

Sarah Bumkowski maintains that she was unaware of the experiments at the time, but later learned about the tests from Monson's producer after Dori unexpectedly began to rant nonsensically about the need to use water boarding to interrogate Seattle anti-war protesters.

During that incident in 2010, Monson threw a chair out of the window of his office on the second floor of the Entercom building on Eastlake Avenue. Apparently, just outside of the KTTH booth nearby, conservative talk show host and occasional politician John Carlson suffered a black eye after being struck by an unknown projectile thrown at him by Monson. Witnesses say that after Monson's quick apology, however, the two men reportedly hugged, shook hands, and went out to dinner together.

An innocent bystander on the street was also reportedly injured, leading to speculation about a secret financial settlement arranged by Entercom in order to avoid any bad publicity that might have been generated from a public trial.

"I was completely shocked," Bumkowski told reporters at the Seattle Post-Intelligencer on Friday.

"I always thought he was a regular kind of guy, you know? I assumed he was a real family guy with a reasonable amount of common sense and all of that, but when he lost his cool that day and started throwing furniture around, I knew that something was seriously wrong."

Suddenly the mild mannered broadcaster began to rage about the broken vending machines at his office, claiming they had been sabotaged in a conspiracy organized by "liberal" members of the Seattle City Council.

Soon after this incident, KIRO staff were dumbfounded when Monson went on an hour long tirade against teenage girls who show their mid sections in clothes that he called "depraved fashions that should be completely banned by an act of Congress." His spontaneous lecture on the air caught producers completely off guard since that was not a scheduled topic for the day's program.

Monson also reportedly started to throw darts at a photo of Michael Moore while he was live on the air talking with callers, claiming that it helped him to calm his "frayed nerves".

Dori Monson has a reputation in Seattle for totally insulting and berating liberal guests during his show. After his passionate on air attacks, however, he always thanks the guests politely for being on his program. Bottom line: it's very confusing! (Disclaimer: I was one of his past victims.)

Monson's also becoming quite infamous for his increasingly irrational screech fests in which he attempts to destroy the credibility of all Seattle politicians. Monson's favorite target lately has been Seattle City Council's socialist member Kshama Sawant. During a recent broadcast, he described Sawant as "a completely and ineffectual idiot".

Next Page  1  |  2  |  3

(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).

Rate It | View Ratings

Mark Taylor-Canfield Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Independent journalist, musician and activist.
Contributing Writer - Huffington Post, Truth-out.org, Guest columnist Capitol Hill Times
Blogs at Daily Kos
Regular Guest with Thom Hartmann, Norman Goldman, Mike Malloy, Jeff Santos, (more...)

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Seattle Hosts Progressive Media Gathering - Is Radio Dead?

Weapons of Mass Distraction - Freedom of the Press? US Activists and Journalists Face Surveillance and Intimidation

Occupy Movement's Third Annual National Gathering July 31 - August 4

Seattle Hempfest 2014 - Dawn of A New Era Regarding Legalization of Pot

April Fools Satire! Tell All Book Explains Seattle KIRO Radio Host Dori Monson's Mental Breakdown

Anniversary of Seattle WTO Protests - Global Economic Austerity Measures

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend