That kind of doublespeak deserves a place in the Hall of Fame of Cowardly Language, alongside President Bush's claims of "Weapons of Mass Destruction" and President Obama's description of war in Libya as "kinetic action."
So, you see, in the language of the TSA, they never really "molest" anyone, although if you or I did the same thing they do on a routine basis, we would be charged with molestation. Somehow, when government employees commit these crimes, they are excused from the law by simply changing the words they use to describe their crimes.
It's as if some guy walks into a bank, sticks a gun to the cashier's head, collects thousands of dollars in cash, and then explains that he wasn't really robbing the bank at all. "The cashier willfully surrendered the money," he could claim, using TSA language.
The TSA is lying, of course
Waiting around for the TSA to announce it will control itself is a surrender of our power and rights to a rogue governmental organization that respects no law. The agency has already ridiculously claimed the U.S. Constitution gives it "supreme power" over the states, meaning no one can question its authority on any matter whatsoever. This is the position of a tyrannical organization that must be disbanded if we are to restore our freedoms as guaranteed under the U.S. Constitution.
The TSA remains a threat to the states and has already threatened to enact an economic blockade against the state of Texas if lawmakers there outlaw the TSA's lewd groping pat-downs.
Now the TSA is renewing its tyrannical threats against the state of Texas, which has reintroduced legislation that would outlaw the federal government's molestation of innocent travelers. As PrisonPlanet.com reports, the TSA is once again saying "it will take legal action to prevent the law being implemented, indicating that the government could once again resort to threatening Texas with a blockade that would impose a de facto no-fly zone over the state."
TSA logic makes your head spin
Why does the TSA grope little children and reach down their pants as part of a screening process? TSA head John Pistole claims that terrorists might use 10-year-olds to carry bombs onto airplanes. While that possibility may at first sound alarming, consider this: the U.S. government hires TSA employees with the IQs of four-year-olds to reach down your pants, and that's far scarier. I'd rather fly with a 10-year-old bomber than a TSA nincompoop any day. At least you can try to negotiate with the 10-year-old. TSA agents, on the other hand, are cognitively incapable of processing logical language. You can prove this to yourself by attempting to reason with one of them at the airport about the bottle of water you're trying to get through security. (Good luck with that...)
It's not that they don't try to invoke cognitive function from time to time, however. In a recent Senate hearing, John Pistole whipped out his linguistic Jedi mastery skills and declared, "We need to use common sense." This brilliant realization nearly blinded onlookers who wondered whether "common sense" would include checking infants for poop bombs in their diapers.
The TSA hasn't actually stopped any terrorists from blowing up airplanes, by the way, but it has managed to create a nationwide common sense-free network spanning every major airport in the USA. Leave your brain at home, folks, because you're only allowed to pack one 3-oz. bottle of liquid and a single mental thought on any given flight. That thought must be one of blind obedience to a police state agency that insists it has the supreme power to finger your anus, fondle your cockadoodle and backhand your hoohah, all with the feigned justification that comes from uttering the "T" word... "Terrorism!"
TSA: where morons and perverts go to find employment