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Study shows genetics determines Republicanism

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Message Ed Martin

The current issue of the journal Genetics Today has an article by scientists announcing the discovery that affiliation with Republicanism is genetically determined.

The article reports of the gene that codes for Republicanism, discovered after a three year study of flamboyantly out Republicans in Fort Worth and Houston, Texas, has sent shock waves through corporate executive suites, the yachting, country club and golfing communities.

When asked about the possibility that the most extreme examples of Republicanism, Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck, the scientists said that their radicalism is not genetic, that it is an obvious, clear-cut example of severe mental deficiency, referred to in the scientific community as lunacy.

Psychologists have long debated the nature versus nurture cause of Republicanism, those in favor of the nurture cause pointing out that almost all Republicans have parents that are intolerant, domineering Republicans. Biologists favoring the nature cause have pointed out that it's quite common for a Republican to have a sibling who is a Republican.

Parents of Republicans are relieved to not have to bear the blame for the unlovable political views of their children and other unindicted co-conspirators.

One Democratic mother of a Republican son was overjoyed with the finding. "I have always believed it was genetic," she said. "No one would choose that lifestyle. The flaming xenophobia, the flamboyant hypocrisy, the unfounded belief in some mysterious invisible hand that rules their life," she said.

Some of the Republicans in the study said they had suspected early in their lives that they had a tendency toward Republicanism since they were attracted to demagoguery and found great satisfaction in telling outrageous lies.

In spite of the evidence for the genetic cause of Republicanism, some of the Democrats in the double-blind study confessed that they sometimes fantasized about voting Republican and had hidden relationship with a Republican. However, in well-adjusted people, this experimentation with Republicanism rarely outlasts adolescence.

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Ed Martin is an ordinary person who is recovering from being badly over-educated. Born in the middle of the Great Depression, he is not affiliated with nor a member of any political, social or religious organization. He is especially interested in (more...)
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