Should cell phones be banned? It's worth a good think,
They're turning our species into crass rinky-dink,
Exposing us to 5G on our left and our right,
And the boss's long arm on a Saturday night,
And the sticky swift hands of the silent e-thief,
Who leaves our accounts without the merest fig leaf.
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I get NFL scores that I really don't need,
And ads by the dozen that make my patience bleed,
While that snoop NSA tracks my Al Qaeda meets,
So in peace I can't plot new terrorist feats.
My bank thinks it's terrif' that it saves teller costs,
But not my infarction when my cell phone gets lost.
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It's an idea with legs, this phasing out cells,
No more Whatssup whistles or electronic bells,
No twitters that cut into your movie's love scene
No coverage caprices that turn voice into spleen.
Without interruption could you tuck into steak,
Converse about the world and consider friend's take.
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Our youngsters will object to this ban on their game,
A return to reality that just won't be the same
As those eons of screen-time with never a prob',
Killing monsters or texting or watching porn throb,
Though it's largely forgivable in view of the fact
That their future at best runs from slate-gray to black.
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Like all our advances, there's always a step back,
Something worthy gets lost or comes under attack.
Like a pinball bouncing off the flippers of life,
We're whacked by inventions to assume or face strife.
Imagine our dear world if when cars were new,
We might have thought twice about so much CO2.