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By       Message Jonathan Leigh Solomon     Permalink
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Due to an amazing confluence of circumstances,Malia Obama and Sarah Palin taped an episode of “Are You Smarter Than a FifthGrader?” hosted by comedian Jeff Foxworthy, just two weeks ago – a few daysbefore Palin was announced as John McCain’s VP pick. Sarah Palin chose Malia Obama as her “classmate.” The episode hasn’t aired yet, and the FOX networkrefused to release an advance copy. However, I was able to procure a transcript of the episode.


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Jeff Foxworthy: All right, Mrs. Palin, you’ve chosen “1st Grade Civics” as your category. (Looking at cue card.) Here is your question: How old do you have to be to vote in the United States?

Sarah Palin: 21-years old. (Pause.) And, you should be 17-years old before you have children.

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Foxworthy: Excuse me!?

Palin: You see, my daughter is 17 and she’s pregnant. But that only means she’s growing up a little faster than my husband and I would have planned… Actually, the fact that she was f - - - ing at 17-years old also means she’s been growing up a little faster than my husband and I would have planned.

Foxworthy: Youknow, Mrs. Palin - - -

Palin: Governor Palin.

Foxworthy: I had no idea you were a governor.

Palin: Well,I’ve only been a governor for two years. I was on the PTA … one thing lead to another… now I’m a governor. Someday I might be president!  Who knows? Sometimes s--- just falls in your lap!  One day you’re holding teas for new teachers – next day you are outlawing abortion!

Foxworthy: Anything is possible in America, but I - - -

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Palin:(Turning to studio audience.) Does anyone in the audience have a child with Down syndrome? I do! Because I didn’t have an abortion.  I deserve a lot, a lot, a lot, of credit for that. And, my daughter is keeping her baby!  She deserves a lot of credit...

Foxworthy: Governor Palin, maybe - - -

Palin: Of course, if we outlawed abortion then we wouldn’t have had a choice and we’d getno credit. Hmmmm…

Foxworthy: Your logic does seem - - -

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Jonathan Leigh Solomon is a (retired) stand-up comedian who appeared regularly on "Late Night With David Letterman" and the "Late Show With David Letterman." You can read his satire at Politico.Com and or listen to him sharing fact-filled (more...)

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