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Republican logic and party platform planks, 2016

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The deficit is far too big. We need to cut spending for bloated social programs, science, and education so we can pay for increasing tax cuts for the wealthy and several wars.

Climate change? Doesn't exist, or if it does it is of no concern and not related to human activities. You must have missed our engaging example of the snowball in the Senate chamber.

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Equal pay for equal work? Nah, why should we? Things are fine just the way they are.

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Raise minimum wage to a living level? Nope. We are just talking about teenagers who don't really need much money, anyway. Besides, it would really hurt businesses to pay more to their workers.

Go Green with solar and wind power? That would be counter-productive since it would hurt the business profiles of dependable corporations in the fossil fuel industry, an industry that has been the backbone of our nation's success for well over a hundred years.

Upgrading the country's infrastructure? That is just a liberal talking point in favor of adding to the deficit huge increases that we can't afford. What we need to do instead is increase our military spending to prepare for more wars.

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Ban Fracking on public lands? Don't be ridiculous. We need more fracking because it produces so much more gas and oil and has been declared safe. In fact we should sell off some of that public land to corporations that would develop it for commercial use.

Avoid drilling in the arctic because of the danger of oil spills? The danger is negligible. We have already had the biggest spill imaginable and things worked out just fine.

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Dan Cooper is an award winning freelance writer/editor living in the Texas Hill Country. He has worked in news and sports journalism and is currently working on several projects, including an autobiography and the editing of a California Gold Rush (more...)
 

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