I just hope I won't be censored for talking about religion, and, oh, being drunk at the same time. Hopefully it is within your book of truth, your Bible, to forgive such things as I am about to do. What has Jesus Christ said exactly? I am so drunk, I can't remember anything.
Just finished a hell of a week at work, drank myself to death tonight, after I had sex with my boyfriend (a homosexual deviant diseased mind like me, to use the religious term), smoke more roll ups than I would care to count, and here I am, I will talk about religion. Did I mention drugs in there somewhere? Oh!
I am your son! I am the son of every good American out there! Because I am just a statistic, and according to statistics, so many are just like me. I am your Useless American Alcoholic Gay Son! Please remember that, if you cannot remember anything else.
I am testing your limits, have you exploded yet? At least I will not talk about war, or nuclear Third World War, which religion will most definitely play a major role in making a reality. Nuclear death by religion... it has a great ring to it.
What would you say if I were to tell you that I am Catholic, and Catholicism is the only real religion, and that if you do not convert right now, you will suffer for eternity once you die? We all know that only Catholics will go to heaven, anyone else goes straight to hell.
I can already tell you that your religion is crap and filled with lies, and you all need to die sooner or later, sooner rather than later hopefully, and that I am quite willing to help eradicate any believer, by definition an infidel, in any other religion.
If you are not Catholic, you're most likely to think that I am mad, and that someone needs to stop me, kill me, before I somehow succeed in my plan to annihilate humanity. And you would be right. After all, we all know that Catholics are wrong, they will all go to hell, and all the religions originally based on Protestantism are the right ones, they are the ones who will go to heaven. Does that include the Mormons? I wonder... probably not.
I will tell you the truth, I am a Muslim. Oh, I need to be shot now, don't I? But why? Why indeed. Since it cannot possibly be justified, under any Court of law, under any kind of rule of any God that ever existed. Is it not so? Come on, tell me, I am listening.
If you believe otherwise, there is an indictment ready for you under our Court of Law, and it leads to a trial which will lead you straight to prison. Please, do remember that, if you cannot remember anything else.
If you can't reach reason by reason alone, the law will lead you to reason. All religions are to be respected, even the lack of belief in any religion will be respected. Are we free to think and believe whatever we want or are we not, what do you prefer? A prison sentence? I will arrange it, believe me. The law is on my side (at the moment, at least).
A religion, I would think, starts with a leader who spoke some sort of wisdom to some other people who obviously trusted that person. This leader either talked a lot and was listened to, and some others wrote about it, or this person wrote a bunch of books that could be thought of as some sort of wisdom. A book of truth about the nature of humankind and the universe, and a whole set of ethical and moral behaviors to observe, that no one in their right mind could possibly ever obey.
I can see why this is attractive, since we are all, as humans, curious by nature about who we are, what we are all about, and what is this universe in which we evolve in, or were created within, and who initiated this whole existence. We could easily go mad just trying to elucidate these mysteries. And when someone comes along and tells us exactly how it is, how it could have been and how it will be, I suppose it can be refreshing and welcomed. We all need answers to the main existential questions.