They say the Dow's falling; I say it's a trick,
To nab some low prices before the uptick,
It's the same old play that we've all seen before:
The same guys at New Year's the first out the door,
Who now return smiling when sellers are rife,
Unloading it all for portfolio's dear life.
.
Prez Joe says he's optimistic, never been more,
And the prez is the guy who best knows the score.
All we hear about's shortage here, shortage there,
Which is scam and disinfo, so much hot air:
If there's a shortage, the market will fill it,
The watts in your bulb or the steak in your skillet.
.
The econ', y'see, I've got figured this way:
The less we buy of Russian gas, curds and whey,
The more we'll produce in the U.S. of A.
Same with the Chinese, with their work-till-you-drop,
To Tierra del Fuego we'll set up our shop,
And buy brand-new TVs for ten bucks a pop.
.
The Euros will thank us for weaning them off
Russian raw Ms, although now they might scoff,
And cry and snipe and rail against empire,
(But only because it's not theirs to acquire),
And with pain adjust to the new facts of life,
Secretly happy to trip after our fife.
.
Yes, I'm revving my millions for what's in store,
Shorting the ruble, getting in on ground floor,
If the Dow doesn't hit 50K in a year,
I'll dance rap publicly on my left ear,
And thrill to observe the Russkies and Chinese,
Shocked as we pass them with the greatest of ease.
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