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Palin Winks Her Way To Victory

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Alaska Governor Sarah Palin scored a definitive victory in the vice presidential debate over Delaware Senator Joe Biden who was severely outclassed and out of his league.

Palin rambled, scrambled and rocked and/or rolled her way through the audacious questions of noted librul appeaser/moderator, Gwen Ifill. It was like witnessing Joan of Arc in action, if Joan of Arc happened to be the lead character in the film “Legally Blonde.”

Biden, for his part, put up a fight, but noted: “Sure, I was in command of the issues, but every damn time she winked it threw me off my game, I have no idea how Putin is going to deal with that.”

Just last week the PALIN-mccain campaign was in a tizzy over Palin’s disastrous series of interviews with noted librul appeaser/ “journalist” Katie Couric. At one point, Couric fired off a rousing accoutrement of questions and follow ups that had Palin reeling.

“What is your favorite color?”

“Can you name one color besides blue that you might disagree with?”

And noted Librul appeasers in the media….. ok, that’s actually everyone in the media, were quick to point out that Palin had once majored in Coloring at one of the 12 colleges she attended. A point easily laughed off by the PALIN-mccain campaign.

“Governor Palin didn’t attend a fancy East Coast school like Harvard, she instead went to 12 colleges where she learned about Joe Sixpackishness and gained a doggone bunch of street smarts.” replied PALIN-mccain campaign flack, Tucker Bounds.

Palin started off the night in a most excellent manner, by asking Biden if she could call him: “Joe.” This stunned brazillions around the world, including Conservative pundit David Brooks who called Palin’s asking to call Biden by his really truly own name: “A stunning plethora of genius, we may have another Abe Lincoln on our hands.”

Biden never had a chance.

The most memorable exchange of the debate came when Biden droned on about tactical, schematics of strategical strategery in correlating the situation between Bosniaks and Panjshir Tajiks or something that we never totally got, but Palin replied with: “Well doggone it, there you go again with those fancy words, Joe! John McCain is a Mavericky Maverick who is Maverickishilicious and I said thanks but no thanks to seeing Russia from my house, yup, yup.” The crowd immediately erupted in applause and Jesus, himself, came down from heaven and punched Joe Biden in the nose, however he calmed down after Palin gave him another one of those winks.

Now granted, libruls and other God-hating French loving surrender monkeys didn’t like much of what Palin had to say tonight, but many good Christian folks out there with jobs and guns did.

“She’s purty.” said local GOP Precinct Captain, Joe Sixpack. (who is known to be a close friend of Palin.)

“I’d like to have a beer with her.” said an anonymous Christian man of obvious Moral Values.

Biden resonated with a slightly different crowd.

“Ah thought he had a tremendous amount of intellect” said Lucinda Von Horningwinkle as she sipped champagne and jumped in the back of her limousine.

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Bill Wetzel is Amskapi Pikuni aka Blackfeet from Montana. His writing has appeared in the American Indian Culture & Research Journal, Yellow Medicine Review, Studies In Indian Literatures (SAIL), Hinchas de Poesia, Red Ink Magazine, Literary (more...)

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