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Miss Universe

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Mike Malloy
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Not too long ago Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, visited the dark, hideously inhuman, torture facility paid for and operated by citizens of the United States. This is an excerpt from her report/diary:

We arrived in Gitmo on Friday and stared going around the town, everybody knew Crystle and I were coming so the first thing we did was attend a big lunch and then we visited one of the bars they have in the base. We talked about Gitmo and what is was like living there. The next days we had a wonderful time, this truly was a memorable trip! We hung out with the guys from the East Coast and they showed us the boat inside and out, how they work and what they do, we took a ride around the land and it was a loooot of fun!

She had a loooot of fun. Shouldn’t that be lotttt instead of loooot? Anyway, that’s how Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza, began her report on the really groovy time she had visiting our very own torture facility. Lunch, a nice bar, hangin’ wit da boys. Lookin’ at the boat. Inside and out! And who can ever forget those wacky East Coast guys! Ah, but there’s more:

We also met the Military dogs, and they did a very nice demonstration of their skills. All the guys from the Army were amazing with us.

The dogs “did a very nice demonstration” for her and her gal pal. Yeah. I’ll just bet they did. Like, what, Dayana? Maybe turning loose a captive, a guy in an orange jump-suit, and screaming run, hajji, run! and then releasing one (two? three?) of those “Military dogs” to, um, demonstrate their “skills” for you, Dayana? I guess after three or four banana daiquiris for lunch the sight of a prisoner being stripped of his skin by attacking Military dogs can be fun, right? And the guys from the Army? “Amazing with us?” Uh . . . hoo-ahhhhhh . . . right? Ah, but there’s more:

We visited the Detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how they recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books.  It was very interesting.

How about the cells where “they” experiment with suicide? Or the cozy little rooms with the specially fitted chairs where detainees who were on hunger strikes in protest of their imprisonment were force fed until they projectile vomited?? Was that fun, too, Dayana? Did you and your gal pal get all giggly when the Army boys (or was it CIA?) showed you the rooms where actual water-boarding took place? How about ceiling hooks? Didya’ see any of those, sweetie? They’re not there for hanging plants, y’know. Ah, but there’s more:

The water in Guantánamo Bay is soooo beautiful! It was unbelievable, we were able to enjoy it for at least an hour. We went to the glass beach, and realized the name of it comes from the little pieces of broken glass from hundred of years ago. It is pretty to see all the colors shining with the sun.

The water is sooooooo beautiful! And, ah, the beach. The “glass beach.” With all the shards twinkling in the sun. My. That just makes me want to go find glass and break it all to pieces. Maybe some plate glass windows. Would that work, Dayana? And, what? a whole hour? You got to hang out for a whole hour? Wow. Know what? Some of those cute li’l detainees have been hangin’ out for seven years! Can you imagine? Seven years?! Wow, right? Ah, but there’s more:

That day we met a beautiful lady named Rebeca who does wonders with the glasses from the beach. She creates jewelry with it and of course I bought a necklace from her that will remind me of Guantánamo Bay : )

I love that little smiley thing you put at the end of that sentence, Dayana. Cute! And, you know what? The men in the torture cells probably will have memories of Guantanamo Bay, too. Um, maybe scars -- physical and emotional?  That will last long after you lose your pretty little piece of beach glass on another of your visits to where?  The U.S. torture facility at Bagram Air Base Afghanistan?  Would that be fun? -- maybe nightmares? screams in the middle of the night? becoming a suicide bomber as an act of revenge? The possibilities are endless, right Dayana? Ah, but there’s more:

I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful.

Calm? Relaxing? Dayana, it’s a f*cking torture facility!!!!!!! Did no one tell you that?? Are you as brain dead as your little “my fun time at Guantanamo” report would demonstrate? Imagine the fun time you would have had at Hiroshima -- middle August, 1945. Or how about Treblinka? Auschwitz? Please, Dayana, go away. Far away. Please.

PS. Mendoza’s account of her trip to Guantanamo has been removed (really?!) from her blog site. However, both USA today and the NYTimes carried accounts and can be accessed here and here.

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Mike Malloy is a former writer and producer for CNN (1984-87) and CNN-International (2000). His professional experience includes newspaper columnist and editor, writer, rock concert producer and actor. He is the only radio talk show host in America to have received the A.I.R (Achievement in Radio) Award in both (more...)
 
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