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OpEdNews Op Eds    H2'ed 3/27/09

Insults by the Red Beaver: April Fool's Day Coming

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Mark Sashine
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1. Wedding of the Millenium

David Letterman states on TV:

Yesterday, after 450 years of relationship i tied the knot with my partner Jay Leno.  Our offsprings, Joe Lieberman and Ann Colteur attended the ceremony.

2. New History

The name of the man who killed  President Lincoln was not John Wilkes Booth. His name was  Newty Gingrich and  his illegitimate offspring is accusing current President Obama of being a dictator. Incidentally, both Lincoln and Obama come from Illinois as politicians although Obama was  born on Hawaii and Lincoln- in Kentucky.

3.Problem With Numbers

White House Press-Secretary:

- Ok, we decided to send 4000 more troops to Afghanistan, OOPs, sorry,  5000, no sorry that's the number of the dead soldiers in Iraq, sorry, 400000, nope, that's the number of  the Taliban warrriors we apparently are  going to defeat again, sorry, 40000000E10, that's the projected cost of our stupidity and malice, who the Hell runs the teleprompter?

4.  Rahm Emanuel and Dick Cheney Secret Meeting in the Penn State Lavatory:

Rahm:  Dick, they discovered that I took a salary of about $350K from Freddie and Fannie and did nothing.

Dick: Ho,  at least I did something when I took money.

Rahm: That's the issue. If they find out what I DID for that money..

Dick: I tell you, man, blame  Saddam.

Rahm: I am trying to  blame  Karzai and Pakis but  it does not work.

Dick: Waterboard the bastards! Also start pumping the threat to Israel.

Rahm: Thanks, man. You are a real DeepThroat.

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The writer is 67 years old, semi- retired engineer, PhD, PE. I write fiction on a regular basis and I am also 10 years on OEN.

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