If gay marriage passes in the Supreme Court, every riot, every natural catastrophe, every disaster will be its cause. One million birds will fall from the sky. The Supreme Court will be hit by a meteor. Audrey II will devour Cleveland.
You see, God will take away His protection so that plagues, hurricanes, and
earthquakes will be commonplace. Cats and dogs will ferociously turn on their
owners and roam the streets, faucets will spurt green bile, roaches and rats
will become as large as cars, and zombies...ZOMBIES! will cover us all in dried
blood!
... and revolution will happen: so says Matt Staver, Dean of (Jerry Falwell's)
Liberty University's School of Law (listen below).
With the possibility of the court ruling 5-4 for marriage equality, so many of the Christian Right are taking the opportunity to demonize gays as never before. Calls them words of desperation. Like Fox favorite epic fail, Todd Starnes:
Ministers arrested for preaching God's word has been a favorite of anti-marriage equality pundits for years. It has not happened yet, much to the consternation of Right, a force that wants to see some martyrs for the cause. So far, all they can come up with is a couple of bakers and one obscure, but publicity-hungry pizza maker. The "war on Christianity" has been attributed to gays and Obama, causing even some conservative pundits to balk at the lack of martyrs and the extreme handwringing:
[John] Stossel came out swinging [during a dialogue with Bill O'Reilly],
acknowledging that while there are some issues that Christians can legitimately
complain about, when it comes to O'Reilly's "War on Christianity," the Fox host
is "just a 10-foot-tall crybaby."
The breakdown of the family unit is another cry from the right - the
catastrophe that will bring about polygamy and men marrying their dogs. The
problem with that argument is that in states where gay marriage is legal, the
exact opposite has proven true:
In states where same-sex marriages are legally recognized, the
divorce rate is 20 percent lower than
in states that only allow marriages between a man and a woman. For example,
Massachusetts, which was the first state to legalize same-sex marriage (in
2004), also has the lowest divorce rate in the country.
The presentations to SCOTUS about that breakdown were weak in the extreme. Matt
Baume of Marriage News Watch gives us the breakdown of arguments
and SCOTUS reactions: breakdown of the family unit went poorly. In fact, most
of the prosecutor's arguments, although sounding reasonable, went poorly.
Back to insanity.
The arrest of pastors and the attack on the family and family values are tame
in comparison to the wild predictions of the Christian Right. News analysts
aren't strident enough, aren't demonizing enough, aren't doom-and-gloom enough.
Leave it to televangelists and fake "apostles" to give America real
shivers down the spine.
Self-proclaimed prophet Cindy
Jacobs delivered
an ominous warning to America while
speaking with fellow televangelist Jim Bakker, describing a message she
received from God that the country will face divine punishment over the Supreme
Court's rulings on marriage equality. "Recently in the United States we've had
these Supreme Court decisions that are against biblical marriage, and the Lord
said to me, 'duck your head, duck your head.' I said, 'oh God, duck my head?'"
"I prophesied that there was going to be a lot of disasters that were going to
come" such as Hurricane Sandy, Jacobs claimed, lamenting that no one listened
to her. "I mean I don't want them to come, it's not like I'm saying 'oh great
they're coming,' but the point is a prophet has to say what is to come, it's
like you're reporting."
And, of course, there's good ole Pat Robertson's take: gay marriage will bring
about the end of civilization (see below).
What Price Revenge?
If SCOTUS gives marriage equality the ruling it needs, the wailing and gnashing
of teeth may indeed give sway to civil disobedience. But righteousness may look
like a sore-loser's revenge, a revenge that we will, unfortunately, be seeing
for long time to come.
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