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General News    H4'ed 12/3/19

Humor: Feeling Hopeless and Depressed? Stop Reading the Help Wanted Ads

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Message Martha Rosenberg
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For Many, the Job Market is Bleak
For Many, the Job Market is Bleak
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They say the economy is growing and jobs are being added. But judging from how many people actually have jobs, this looks like another "jobless recovery."

Sure there are help wanted ads but most of us have seen the pitches before and don't fall for them. Sometimes we even talk back to them.

Ambitious? Hard-working? (No, I'm a lazy slacker!)

Career minded? (No I want my name on my shirt forever!)

Tired of the run-around? (No, I want more rejection.)

Looking for a job? (This isn't the recipe section?)

Many help wanted ads still employ the old bait and switch.

Like money? Must have dependable car.

Be your own boss! Demonstrate my proven cleaning system.

Pleasant sounding telephone voice?Cemetery plot sales may be for you.

Most of us know the bait and switch code by now. "Are you a self-starter?" means the job is chaos and anarchy. No training, no guidelines, no structure and of course no chance for advancement.

"Fast-paced office" means you will do the job of two or more because they are too cheap to hire enough people.

"Join our growing team" means you'll work two weeks before the "growing team" crashes, owing you for two weeks' work.

"Tremendous income potential" means no paycheck in the foreseeable future but dreams are nice, aren't they?

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Martha Rosenberg is an award-winning investigative public health reporter who covers the food, drug and gun industries. Her first book, Born With A Junk Food Deficiency: How Flaks, Quacks and Hacks Pimp The Public Health, is distributed by Random (more...)

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