Hittin' the Highlights

So many flying monkeys, Truthseekers, so little time . . . .

Where to begin with our weekly round-up of all the news stories that caught our attention this week? Do we begin with President Obama's eerily-Eisenhoweresque commitment of 300 "military advisers" to Iraq to -- somehow -- contain the iSIS crisis? Perhaps this is the best compromise the commander-in-chief can devise to quiet his critics on the right and the left, but it doesn't sound like a winning plan for either side.

What about potential GOP presidential hopeful Gov. Rick "Good Hair" Parry's cringe-worthy comment that equated homosexuality with alcoholism, and concomitant suggestion that gays could be "cured?" Perry is backpedaling as fast as he can from that comment, which he made in San Francisco (!) last week.

CBS has more:

"Texas Gov. Rick Perry probably shouldn't have attempted to make the case that gay people can 'decide not to' be gay despite genetic predisposition, he conceded Thursday, offering no semblance of an apology but trying instead to rally attention back to his message about jobs and the economy.

"'I got asked about an issue,' Perry, a Republican, explained during a lunch hosted by the Christian Science Monitor. 'And instead of saying, 'You know what? We need to be a really respectful and tolerant country -- to everybody -- and get back to talking about: Whether you're gay or straight, you need to be having a job.' And those are the focuses I want to be involved with.

"'Instead,' he went on, 'I readily admit -- I stepped right in it.'

"Perry was asked during an appearance in San Francisco last week whether he believes homosexuality is a disorder. He seized the opportunity to liken 'the homosexual issue' with the physically debilitating disease of alcoholism.

"'Whether or not you feel compelled to follow a particular lifestyle or not,' he said, 'you have the ability to decide not to do that. I may have the genetic coding that I'm inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that. And I look at the homosexual issue the same way.'"

Now if he'd only discuss his views on "legitimate rape" and "self-deporting" Hispanics, he'd be the perfect GOP candidate.

Speaking of presidential wannabes, the heat is on another GOP governor -- beleaguered Chris Christie -- as prosecutors in the "bridgegate" scandal are closing in on Christie's cronies, and the question remains -- will Christie consigliere David Samson filp against his boss, or will he take the hit for da family?

Esquire has an exclusive:

"Whatever Christie says or does -- and whatever potential donors or Jimmy Fallon and his viewers think -- the question that truly matters is whether Fishman's pursuit leads to the governor himself. Christie's Port appointees -- not only Samson, but former PA Deputy Executive Director Bill Baroni and his oddball sidekick David Wildstein -- all face near-certain indictment and are being pressed to hand up Christie, as is the governor's former chief counsel, Charlie McKenna.

"Wildstein, portrayed as the mastermind behind Ft. Lee's traffic problems, has made proffers to Fishman's investigators -- hoping to trade information to the prosecutor in exchange for gentler legal treatment -- but Fishman has cut no deals with anyone so far, and the looming indictments have encouraged Christie's PA appointees to sing. 'Don't underestimate what Wildstein has on Christie,' says one source. 'And Wildstein and Baroni have both turned on Samson. If Samson doesn't give Fishman Christie, Samson is toast.'"

Is the tune "Born Under a Bad Sign" running through your head, too? Man, I miss The Sopranos, but this is a close second . HBO couldn't write this stuff any better.

And there's a third Republican governor in the news today -- Scott Walker of Wisconsin is facing a scandal that also involves Bush-era architect Karl Rove, among other notables in the Neocon hierarchy.