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Life Arts

Facing Your Enemas

By       Message Robert Morgan     Permalink
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opednews.com Headlined to H4 9/29/09

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Once upon a time, discussions of this sort would have creeped me out. Now that I've matured, and learned the facts of life, it's a lot easier to talk or write about these things -- maybe too easy...

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Despite dire warnings, the recommendations of doctors, loved ones and numerous celebrities, the very thought of it may be enough to bring the bravest and toughest among us to our knees. The indignity of it, the invasion of privacy, the probing, the pictures... Of course, I'm referring to a colonoscopy, which for many of us is a least-prized 50th birthday present.

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At a small party my wife and I attended recently with a group of contemporaries, as conversations with folks our age tend to go, the discussion eventually got around to the subject of colonoscopies. Almost everyone had been through at least one, but two people hadn't had theirs yet. One had scheduled an appointment, and it was coming up soon, so the taunts and teasing escalated as the night wore on. The conversation was hilarious as several people recounted their close encounters and contemplated posting their pictures on FaceBook, MySpace, or better yet, YouTube! Only my wife and another couple knew that my colonoscopy a month earlier had uncovered early stage colorectal cancer.

For those who haven't had "the procedure" yet, the prep is the worst part, but for most, it's not so bad. A handful of tablets or magic powder and a torrent of fluids the night before clears the way for the doctor to perform the exam while you're in a blissful state of sleep. If it's any consolation, you can imagine that the doctor's perspective is a lot different, and that you're certainly on the better end of things. If you're employed, it'll mean a day off, but you'll need a chauffeur, which may make things a bit more challenging, and a bit less private. But once the procedure is completed, you'll get over it and reward yourself by gorging and replenishing your system.

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I am a licensed Professional Engineer with an MBA, and despite that, have decent writing skills. I try to write with balance, humor, and a thought-provoking message. Sometimes I succeed... I am a binge writer, writing several pieces in rapid (more...)
 

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