America the Beautiful by all was sung,
Until our leaders claimed a new rung.
Imbued with the Bible, they turned conceptional,
And declared we're actually A. the Exceptional.
Like Play-Doh and plans, it's joyfully malleable.
Like being the Pope, it makes you infallible.
And it serves all purposes under the sun,
To skirt silly laws or to pull out a gun.
Invasions become issues: "quality of life,"
That spread women's lib and make iPhones rife.
You can torture and call it something "enhanced,"
Safeguarding cities where terror once pranced.
'Tis great consolation when making an error,
Scything a wedding along with some terror,
You go all Gothic and sigh "Drones we need 'em,
"For such is the price of your future freedom."
You can buy off locals, start running their shop.
And if all goes sideways, hand allies a mop.
Your snipers are good guys, heroes to mint,
Caring and handsome, well worthy of Clint.
Me, I'm sure proud to be an exception.
It saves time, it's cool, it assures a reception.
It much makes you feel for those run-of-the-mills,
Like Europes and Asians, all green to the gills.
It's just such a pity they still don't get,
The exception that's us, like Elvis or Rhett.
America the Beautiful's so yesterday,
Gone with the wind, like vinyl: passe.