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Donald Trump's "Death Song"

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Valkyrie: each of Odin's twelve handmaidens who conducted the slain warriors of their choice from the battlefield to Valhalla.

Aha! Got it!

But really Donald? An ode

to dead soldiers on a battlefield as your "grand entrance" song at the rally in San Jose? Man, come on! Some people say you're losing it. Unhinged is the word they are tossing around. Do you know what that word means? No? Okay, okay".I'll tell you. It means "mentally unbalanced; deranged."In short, dear Donald, they're saying that you're not playing with the full deck; you've gone coo-coo and that you may have lost some of your marbles. I don't know.

And I have to be tremendously frank with you Don, the Valkyrie thing is not going to go down well with those people with "big hands" and you know what they say about people with big hands! I don't have to tell you! Heck, you're the man! After Hillary Clinton did that really horrible attack on you I know that she really got under your skin! Believe me, coming from one who understands your "Man-Baby complex" I would be pissed off too.

Awwwww".she did a boo-boo on you poo-poo? I looked at your San Jose speech and I know that your were hurting -- bad. You even got your daughter and your wife mixed up and you "mispronounced" the word "teleprompter" spelling it "telepromter!" I know you were steamed, poor baby! I blame Hillary for even suggesting that your baby hands were not big enough to be "prezeedent" of the United States. How dare she! Oh! For christsakes! Take your thumb out of your mouth Donald! I don't know where your hands were and what you were playing with! Okay? Okay? And just so you know the word is "teleprompter." Okay?

But you should have waited until you calmed down before tweeting and giving Hillary's speech "no stars, not yooooge." I'm not saying that you are thinned skinned at all! I think that is a crybaby thing, a phase that hopefully you're going to get over. Grow out of as you "get big." Awwwww, is your gum hurting? Scratching? Ahhhh, soon you will have a lot of nice teeth! Fantastic teeth! The best teeth anyone has ever seen! Still need your comforter? Don't worry baby, you'll soon grow out of your diapers, you'll see!

"I mean, I watched Hillary today, it was pathetic. It was pathetic. It was so sad to watch. And you know she's up there, supposed to be a foreign policy speech, it was a political speech, it had nothing to do with foreign policy."

I'm seeing the Valkyries now! I seen them! I seen them! Okay Donnikins lets see if we can make sense of that, right? Okay? Bear with me here! Here's what I think you were trying to say. Don't worry I'm here to help! Here the translation:

"I watched Hillary's making fun of me. She was laughing at me! Do I havta watch? No? so I'll just go to sleep. Foreign policy? What's that? Believe me folks, I know foreign policy and this was not foreign policy speech. I've been studying foreign policy for a long, long time. Long before Hillary right? I love foreign policy! I did not pay attention to a single word she said! Don't need to!"

Donnikins, no, no, no! Be nice! Okay? Now say something nice about the nice lady! Okay boo-boo?

"Do I havta"I don't want to! She's "Crooked Hillary""She said China is jealous of us! And she said"who else is jealous? She said, oh! China and Russia are jealous of our relationships. They are not jealous! They think we're stupid!"

Now, now no tempter tantrums! Won't do to pout Donnikins! I know that many people just love to hear your wise and prophetic message. You are the Oracle of "Make America Great Again!" I know that Hillary hit you hard and that sucks! But I know like the Valkyries you are going to swoop in and "save America" and bring the country to a place of plenty.

Parting shots buddy?

"You remember I said I was a counterpuncher? I am! After what she said about me today in her phony speech that was a phony speech, that was a Donald Trump hit job, I will say this! Hillary Clinton has to go to jail, ok? She has to go to jail. That was a phony hit job! She's guilty as hell!"

Yes, yes Donnikins! She has to go to jail for attacking you! Yes, throw her in jail for doing a hit job against you! Throw her in jail for not making a foreign policy speech! Lock her in jail and throw away the key because she's guilty as hell!" Of what? Convicted of what? Dear Lord please deliver us from the incoherent rantings of this man-child. Why the heck am I always surrounded by nuts and dolts and dunderheads!?

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MICHAEL DERK ROBERTS Small Business Consultant, Editor, and Social Media & Communications Expert, New York Over the past 20 years I've been a top SMALL BUSINESS CONSULTANT and POLITICAL CAMPAIGN STRATEGIST in Brooklyn, New York, running (more...)

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